pretty kate

we watched the movie danny deckchair again the other night. it is always worth another watch. a really good aussie film. but the movie isn't what i'm writing about really. just that in one part of the movie they play a cover of an old INXS song ("don't change") performed by grinspoon. it got me wanting to listen to their old stuff again. on thursday i pulled out all their tapes and started with their first self-titled album which came out in australia in 1980 and was released everywhere else in 1984. i didn't get the album until probably 88 or 89...but it is one of my favorites, along with kick and listen like thieves. so i'm going down memory lane listening and feeling the need to dance, well yeah of course that can't be helped. later, i decided i needed to listen to kick while taking a shower. this is not an album you can listen to and be still. i was overcome by a frenzied need to jump up and down and play air guitar...in the shower. crazy. i was listening to "devil inside" when i had this great memory of myself as a teenager. it was a joyous thing. i remember a time in my life when i did not feel the need to think endlessly about what my purpose in life was, or who i was, or where i was going, if i was good enough or anything else. don't get me wrong, i was one of those kids that did think a lot about those sort of things and the whole world and all the deep angsty stuff of being a teen in the late 80s. but i didn't let it eat me up inside like i've been known to do as an adult. as a mother trying to figure out if i'm anything but "just" a mommy underneath it all. of course i am, but so what if i'm not.

so there i was. in the shower dancing to an old INXS tape (no, really you have to actually picture this!!! it's too funny not to). and i had this thought "fuck all this shit...fuck all this fucking shit!!" and i said it out loud a few times and it felt good. i've got to get out of my fucking head, stop thinking so damn much about every little thing. that was when i had this other thought...i wonder if this is how those really bad shower accidents happen, thirty-something person listening to music in the shower from when they were young and crazy and decide to be not-so-young and crazy and jump around and fall and break their head open. it's something to think about.

the dancing (and singing...did i mention singing?) continued in my room, while i imagined making a great little video of myself dancing like a mad woman...and sharing it on my blog. that didn't happen (aren't you lucky?) but it was fun to think about. then i worked on a drawing i had started a few days ago until scotty got home. my head was clearer than it has been in a while. it may not have fixed all the problems of life and the world but it sure made me feel good to just dance like that again. not that i don't dance like that often enough, just not always to stuff that brings back my youth.

excuse me now, i need to go find a dance floor to clear!! there's only one person who will understand that...right?? you know who you are!


and my apologies to heather who heard this story already last night!!

now, here's an INXS mix i put together, it doesn't have all the great stuff but you can only find so much there...go listen anyway:
http://view.playlist.com/13128376587Share