Monday, December 31, 2007

2 posts in one day...oh my

okay, so CG did a post about christmas music recently and i made a comment about having to listen to "delilah" when she came on the station here that plays all christmas music all december long. i have been mulling around in my head a post about something that woman said that got under my skin.

on the "delilah" show people call in and request music or tell a story about their christmas traditions, etc, etc, yadda yadda yadda. this kid calls in because he wants her to play his and his mom's favorite christmas song. and she says "i'll play it for you if you tell me what you hope santa will bring you for christmas." the kid says he's hoping for a particular video game for his particular gaming system. and she's like "oh i don't allow those things in my house, no video games! is there anything else you want?" ooookay. well, i can comment on this because i have BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. when my kids were very very little we had lots of NOs. we had no tv, no video games, no sugar, etc. that lasted longer than i'd like to admit, but i'm glad to say i've learned an awful lot since then. anyway...

a day or so later, christmas eve, my mom and i are working in the kitchen prepping for christmas dinner and we're listening to the all christmas station when 7 pm rolls around and it's time for delilah. ah well. it's christmas music still. so someone calls in and tells about their christmas tradition as kids to sleep under the christmas tree. delilah thought this was really neat and then went on to say that her kids wouldn't be able to do that because they would get up and throw christmas ornaments all over the room. okay, i almost cut myself at that point. i was like "wait a minute...these same kids that can't have video games would actually do WHAT?" so i'm thinking, what if they were allowed to have video games...maybe they wouldn't feel the need to chuck decorations all over creation. but i think it probably goes much deeper than that. i don't think my kids would ever dream of being so destructive or disrespectful. not that my kids are perfect or anything. they can be as wild as any kids, because kids can be wild and that's part of being a kid. but trashing a place. nope, not gonna happen. and not because i ever said "hey kids, don't trash places...that's not allowed." but because it just isn't something they would do. i do not know why. kids learn all sorts of behaviors from all sorts of places. i wonder where her kids learned that it would be okay to trash the christmas tree? well, you can bet it wasn't from any video game.Share


rupestur said...

Oh my Lawd... Delilah. Many nights have gone by in my sort of distant past, where I was held captive by someone who just HAD to have that lady on. Silly, silly woman.

I've never seen a video game where the object was to throw ornaments. I suppose if you are controlling and expect the worst of your kids all the time, you most likely will have candy cane chucking babies. (And by you, I mean Delilah.)

CG said...

on the behavior front, I think a whole lot of it is whether and to what extent the family buys into the predominant cultural norm of "push and shove gets you ahead" and "ahead is where you really want to be". Schools, particularly government schools, are based on push and shove, and people (bloggers?) seem to revel in how badly their kids can behave ("oh, he got there FIRST! and got the MOST! and that other kid was CRYING! hahahaha!")

No big surprise that a successful woman on national radio buys into the predominant paradigm. It has served her, no doubt.

I think our real secret is that we define success differently, and for ourselves. We value being nice to each other over winning, that sort of thing. Lots of people say they do but they don't really.


Ren said...

Oooh many families actually MODEL cooperation over competition?? It's a rare thing these days..sadly.

I can see why her kids would want to chuck christmas ornaments...
AT HER.;) I would too. Sappy, silly, controlling woman.

I was so tickled by our Bingo game last night. I picked up a cheap
Bingo set and a bunch of very inexpensive prizes that were on clearance. Fun stuff, mostly chocolates and notepads and mulled cider spices and a few toys.

So the kids that were winning more, would give their prizes to someone else. Everyone naturally kept the entire winnings balanced. Not based on my directive (I made no requests or demands) just simply kind children, that have been treated kindly, and don't have to compete for candy or items they want. We just share. So they do.

I was especially shocked when Jalen's second win resulted in a prize he picked to give to Sierra. His empathy isn't exactly well developed yet...but there he was, giving selflessly.

I compared our little game to my own growing up....we would have killed each other for the prizes.

'Course, the prizes got shared and distributed without the game too. So there was no need to win anything..they knew if they wanted the candy bar, there would be enough for them.:)