Sunday, September 01, 2013

in which laura shares crazy

i question my reality on a pretty regular basis. usually it involves things that are very the-matrix-is-broken. like “coincidences” happening non-stop for days on end.

the past few weeks have been like that. i have not been doing much because broken ribs. and i have been taking pain meds on and off (not the hard stuff, just aleve which is like super drugs for me).

one thing i have noticed is that i feel really observant of images but at the same time i can’t follow a conversation or remember key pieces of information i’ve been told. at all. not remembering things is sort of a normal thing for me but it’s just worse right now. but the observant part is really weird. i can’t explain it. but it’s like. stuff, people, even on tv are all…the right size. like everything feels the right size. i don’t know what this means. i can’t really get the words right for this. everything i look at is right and proportionately correct and feels good to look at. the word right is the only one that comes to me. every single time i find myself looking at things. they are the right size. oh man. ummm…next…

so also i have always had the thing happen a lot where you are reading a word at the same time someone says it. or you see an image of a goat and the word goat in a song will happen at the exact moment…

right now a hummingbird keeps buzzing around me and it’s freaking me out!

…so this has been happening but like 5 or 6 times a day sometimes more for the last 2 weeks and it’s starting to make me question my reality. more than usual.

last night everyone wanted ice cream. normally scotty goes on these runs for us but he was cleaning the kitchen so i went. earlier i had been listening to the album “beer in the breakers” by the wave pictures and my ipod was paused on “walk the back stairs quiet” the part with the long solo and so i turned it back on and i was just driving down the road enjoying the guitar solo and suddenly he sings “scoop the ice cream with the dipper” and i bust out laughing for like 2 and a half minutes. because i’m on an ice cream run and…okay it was really funny at the time.

i’m pretty sure the matrix is crumbling

i convinced myself of this once a few years ago when a really random coincidence was just too much…i was looking at a picture of a dinosaur or something and someone said something about dinosaurs. or maybe it was another thing. but it wasn’t a typical word combination and it was weird and i decided i was in some coma and my reality was being made up by conversations going on around me by people visiting me in the hospital.

usually when it happens i tell everyone about it and say “what are the chances” but they started using that phrase as a way to poke fun at me so i stopped.

i shouldn’t share things i think about

or maybe i should share them more and i might find out that other people think crazy shit all the time too and therefore i would feel less alone in the world.

i wish this were the weirdest thing i thought about

but it’s notShare

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