surprise party

about a month ago, i got a call from austin telling me to mark a date on my calendar for a potluck the kids want to have at his house, and that he wants me to invite a bunch of my friends too (if he weren't already so weird this request might've seemed odd). um, okay, done, it's on the calendar, talk to you later. several weeks later he reminds me to invite people because i haven't yet. oops. so i send out a quick email to let people know about this potluck. done.

the date rolls around and i'm really not feeling up to it. BUT i promised, so i spend all day cooking and getting food ready to take. scotty comes home and we watch a movie and rest awhile before it's time to go. i tell everyone i'm not sure if i feel like going and that maybe they could go without me. but i decide to go anyway. hell, a party without me, ain't gonna happen!!!! right??

as we get near the house i see all these cars! we were a few minutes early and NOBODY gets to a party before me, what the hell?!

we pull up to their house and i see kyra on the porch, what?? she runs inside and i think, oh this is a surprise for the kids, they don't know she's here. ha ha, very cool!! i turn around in the car to see if they've seen her and they have and they said they knew she was going to be here. i find it quite odd that everyone knew but me that kyra was here. no one tells me ANYTHING!!! anyway...

we walk up to the house and all these kids are pouring out the door and so excited to see us (cool, we have such great friends!!) samuel is snapping pictures (hey you brought the camera thanks!!) we walk in the door and i see a BIG happy birthday balloon (cool, it's someone's birthday!! hey maybe the balloon is for me because my birthday is next week, cool!!)BUT THEN, i get to the top of the steps going into the living room and i see and hear all our friends shouting "surprise!!" oh my gosh, this is a party FOR ME?? trying so hard not to cry i ask scotty if he knew about this and he says "i planned this!" i am filled with love and happiness and cannot stop the tears that come.!!scotty also managed to smuggle a cake over to austin's prior to the party and it was a beautiful cake!! so fancy!! he even borrowed an 80s cd from a friend that we played all night over and over again with a little music mixed in from austin's and rachel's ipods as well. we had so much fun jumping around and dancing. there was even a conga line!(my giant birthday card made by ren and signed by everyone!)

towards the end of the night, they put me on a stool in the middle of the room and everyone circled around me to tell me all these wonderful things they love about me. it was really amazing! the love in the room was almost overwhelming.the kids wanted to spend the night, so we ALL just stayed!! i think we went to bed around 4 am. the next day we went to ren's house to hang out and enjoy the tease of a spring-like day and share the flu!
so i got a surprise birthday party, something i don't think i've ever had before, and it was the best day ever!!

more pix slideshow:

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spring 2009 ARGH

i should really be in bed...really...i'm sick, again, and really need to rest but i can't seem to make myself do it. i have so much to blog about and i don't want to get behind because then i will never ever get to it. so here goes:

the spring ARGH was amazing!! we went to roan mountain again and had the best time! there was a lot of reconnecting with friends and making new connections; kids screaming and running to greet each new arrival...and it brought tears to my eyes seeing how happy they are with this group of people that have become the core of our unschooling world of friends. what did we do all weekend? well, there was a lot of simply hanging out really. that's what is so wonderful about these gatherings, no pressure to attend a lot of activities (unless you want to). it's very laid back and relaxed. sometimes i might find myself in a cabin playing bananagrams with several other people (while trying not to fall asleep). or walking from cabin to cabin bringing snacks to hungry kids. or driving to the conference center to check out what activities were going on over there and talking and laughing and um, well, hanging out. like i said, that is really the essence of this gathering, "just" hanging out!! there were tons of nerf wars going on at almost any given time, movie watching in the old restaurant building, ATC making in ren's cabin, henna at the conference center, video games at the hangout cabin, tea parties, game parties, dress up parties, just about anything if someone was willing to host it. there was also a delicious potluck followed by a fantastic talent show...what more could you ask for??

we went away with a happy feeling after saying our goodbyes just knowing that in 8 short months we would be up there for the fall gathering to do it all over again!!

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frozen raw chocolate logs

i'm posting this for my mom because i gave her the recipe last week off the top of my head and i don't know if i got it right. not that the recipe has to be JUST RIGHT...it's so very tweakable...sometimes i add more bananas for sweetness, or cashew butter for smoothness. you can use differing amounts of powder depending on whether you're using carob, raw cacao, or cocoa powder and how much you like the taste.

okay, i finally made some of my famous frozen raw chocolate bars/logs after years and years of forgetting the recipe (i used to make these back when sadie was a baby...before i even knew there was such a thing as a raw food diet).

sooo good!! try it!!:

1 cup raw nut butter of choice (i use cashew butter that i make)
3 bananas, very very ripe and mashed
1/4-1/2 cup raw chocolate, carob, or cocoa powder (raw powder is stronger so use the lesser amount)
add chopped nuts if you want after mixing well.

form into logs on waxed paper and roll up to cover and freeze. the next day, slice up little bits of heaven and eat!! keep frozen!! i usually put them on a plate and put them back into the freezer for everyone to grab when they want so i don't have to keep pulling out the knife all day!! they won't last long!!

this IS NOT poop!!! and don't use a little knife like the one in the first picture, use a large knife like you're cutting big carrots!!

see there's an uncut log still wrapped up in the background...that's how you do it! =)

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the super human one eyed pirate...

...i swear that just sounds dirty!! thanks kelli for this fun game, the hero factory!!

i AM

the super human

one eyed pirate!!!

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parenting journeys

my friend, cheryl, wrote a really nice post on her blog...it felt really familiar. i commented on it and realized that my comment might make a good post since i've not been doing much at the posting helm lately. here is my comment to her post:

"isn't it amazing how quickly things can change...from peaceful to chaos in just seconds? BUT, it's also amazing how much of an impression our general attitude and demeanor have on our children in those situations. they pick up on our peaceful energy as well as the chaotic and follow suit.

and it IS super different to know something, to believe in a way of being and the actual practice part. i've been unschooling for years & years, but only in the last couple have i been able to even begin to let go of my need to control everything and really implement my beliefs in a way that my heart has been trying to make sense of and knows is the right path for us.

i have also been in that position of speaking with an onlooker who thinks we are just so wonderful as a family...and i have to let them know we actually ARE human and that not all moments are so wonderful. but that mostly, if i let them be, yes...they really are or could be. and that always goes back to me and my attitude, my false expectations or ideals vs. my faith in their inherent goodness and wonder.

it's something awesome to navigate these waters of our lives as parents. wonderful and treacherous at the same time. to learn more everyday and be our best selves. i don't know who i would be without the gift of having had children and how it has changed me in ways i never would have thought possible."

we spent the weekend with some fellow unschoolers in columbia for the 3rd time in so many months and as usual, it was a learning experience for me. i always come away with some new insight. it is why i make such an effort now to surround myself as often as possible with other unschoolers. i think that no matter how long i am on this journey i will always feel that i am just beginning. not in a "going in circles" sort of way, but in a "wow, i can do better" way. i've been going to sandra dodd's food chats the last 2 weeks and they have been really helpful. i feel that i get it, always have. but the practice part is an internal struggle that i am getting better and better at dealing with and keeping from being external (i.e. dumping my worries and hesitations and control all over my kids and husband...it's MY thing, not THEIRS!!). in yesterday's chat when i asked for some mantra to keep me from my knee-jerk reactions, sandra shared the insights of diana jenner and it went something like this: if your child died tomorrow, would any of this matter? slammed me up against a wall. and cleared up my vision real well...new glasses-like!! thank you both for that!!

i will never know what is up ahead for me and my family, all i know is that the journey part has been amazing and i can't imagine my life any other way!Share

happiness

i haven't felt like doing much blogging although there's a lot going on right now that i could blog about and i'm sure i'll get around to eventually (maybe), but doing tags is easy for my brain at the moment so here goes another.

mindy tagged me with this sweet one: it's called "hooked on your blog" and i'm not really sure i understand the image that goes with it as there really is not a link to anything...anyway...

six things that add to my happiness and joy!! i'm going to go with what is on my mind in this moment:

1. it was warm and sunny yesterday so the kids and i went for a walk around the neighborhood.

2. early morning love-making.

3. we have a huge, and i mean really huge (think 15), group of cedar waxwings living near our house now that swoop around the bushes and trees all the time.

4. the boys are playing some wild and silly game right now called "WoW meets crazy idea that samuel had meets harry potter entrance exam and quoting youtube videos" with costumes and everything.

5. sadie figured out a cool way to use her old tights, so she just now brought me some scissors and had me cut them off for sleeve/wrist warmers...and she's really happy with them. she's now pulling ALL of her tights out to see which ones she wants to do next!

6. i'm looking out the window and it's snowing. and although i really don't like the cold, there is something simply beautiful about new-fallen snow. and it reminds me of how cozy our life is inside our house and how lucky we are to be here together everyday.

okay, now here is the fun part...tagging...who shall i tag??? is it 5 people? okay...

jessica, who never fails to surprise me and make me smile (thanks for the bag!!).

ren, who is like a big sister to me as well as a friend (you can be both apparently).

cheryl, who i really miss being best friends with and living in the same town together.

kelli, who i am just getting to know although we've met several times.

brenna, who married the man i didn't and shares the best stuff on her blog.

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25 random things about me...

okay so i got tagged by a couple people on facebook to do this note thingy and i finally got around to doing it and decided to put it on my blog as well.

1. love & hate minutiae: i love when it's raining and you go under a bridge and it's suddenly really quiet for just a split second before you drive back into the pouring rain...i love that quiet part. i hate when health foods/products companies use the phrase "it's a totally organic experience" in their slogans.

2. i used to live in a really rural place called hiltons, virginia...most people know that is where the carter family fold is...and that we are sort of related to the carters, by marriage not blood.

3. i had 2 nicknames in high school....la and catfight. i still go by la. catfight was because a friend said that's what my hair looked like, like a catfight happened on my head.

4. i walked many many many blocks home alone from school in the snow when i was 5 or 6. no one was home and i fell asleep on the porch. when i woke up i walked to a neighbor's house and she put me on the couch with blankets and warm tomato soup. to this day, i hate the cold. and i love tomato soup and crackers.

5. i haven't felt like dancing or doing art in months.

6. i take lots of pictures because i worry i won't remember things...and that is mostly true, i do forget a lot, always have.

7. almost all of our furniture was found or given.

8. the only thing i still use that i learned in high school is typing.

9. i like disco...and barry manilow..............shhhhh don't tell anyone!!!

10. i often feel like i don't know anything about anything.

11. i can eat a whole bag of chips by myself!! regular lay's please!

12. when i was in high school, i went on a date with a boy named tony catron. we went to a movie and afterwards he took me to watch a tractor pull...we didn't go in though, we went up on a hill above it to watch for free.

13. there was a club in johnson city when i was in college called "the highlander" and my boyfriend and i and sometimes some other friends would go there to dance and hang out and listen to bands play. it was dirty and noisy and smoky. i loved it, i miss it!!

14. i don't ever ever ever need to drink to have a good time or to be able to get out on a dance floor!

15. i've never tried any kind of drug...not even marijuana. but when i was in the 8th grade, i was the class clown and super hyper, and my boyfriend was a known druggy...everyone assumed i was too.

16. i never eat anything for breakfast but fruit.

17. i rarely think of myself as a grown up. i used to think i'd start feeling grown up when i turned 30, then when that didn't happen i started thinking maybe at 40...now that i'm getting closer to 40, i'm thinking that i will probably always feel like a kid.

18. when i was in the third grade, i was tested for a gifted program. i did not make it in; i was lacking in library skills they said. my best friend made it though, and she went on to be in a different third grade class leaving me behind. i think about that sometimes, walking out of the school building feeling so sad and like a failure and it is one of the very few memories I have from that time.

19. i have a longing to belong. the need for community. but it is also the core of one of my deepest inner conflicts. the need to belong and the need to not belong. i often feel like i can't handle the belonging. that i don't have enough of me to go around...so i'm often happiest when my "community" is very very tiny. if it tries to get bigger i tend to freak out. and then the longing comes back...it is a terrible cycle, round and round i go...wanting and not wanting, needing and not needing.

20. i cheated on 18 and 19 because i got stumped and couldn't think of anything to write so i randomly pulled up really really old blog posts...and snipped from them.

21. i'm listening to sondre lerche's song "after all" and it makes me smile. he is yummy.

22. winter makes me want to curl up in a blanket on the couch and watch movies or read and eat, eat, eat!!!

23. i keep everything!!

24. i share more of myself than i should sometimes. this makes me a very vulnerable person. i am also a pretty naive person as well.

25. i really like my life right now, even though i have the winter blahs.

26. i can't believe i finished this!! that's just an extra one for me ;0) you don't have to do 26!


the rules that came with it in case you're curious what this is about:
Rules (but I would prefer to call them "Suggestions"):Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to (IF YOU WANT TO, OF COURSE) write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
Of course, you don't HAVE to do any of this, only if you feel like it'd be fun!!!!)Share

blog awards

i've never gotten one of these before so it took me some time to get to figuring out what to do with it and how =).

thank you danielle

These are the rules to accept the award:

1. You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also contribute to the blogging community, no matter what language.

2. Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog to be visited by everyone.

3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that presented her/him with the award.

4.The award winner and one who has given the prize have to show the link of "Arte y Pico" blog so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5. To show these rules

back when tagging was going around, i never could think of any people to tag. i actually had to narrow down this list to get my 5...and it was hard!!

jess is an amazing inspiration to me as a mother, friend and artist.

cheryl never fails to impress me with her outstanding knowledge and creativity.

mindy is a brilliant dancer and an unshakable, grounded human being.

robyn makes the most beautiful dolls ever.

ginger whose henna creations are astounding...and she knits yummy socks too!!

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beds beds beds, an adventure in sleeping arrangements

well, after years of talking about it...we finally got bunkbeds for the boys. samuel's camper room wasn't working out for the winter. even though he wasn't sleeping out there, all his stuff and his art desk were out there and it limited how much he felt like drawing. he felt isolated. and cold. so we moved all his stuff back in and got the room arranged and ready for bunkbeds. we then moved our 13 year old king size out onto the porch for pickup today by salvation army, and moved the boys' double bed into our room. we slept on it the first night and knew that it was too small for me, scotty, and sadie. so last night, i made up the couch next to the bed for sadie. i slept so good. like i haven't in years. the double bed is so comfortable, the mattress is firmer and not all dead like our king. and our room seems bigger now too!!! the boys are enjoying having their own beds and the extra floor space as well...anyone see the movie "step brothers"...LOL..."why did you let us do that????" i'm cracking up!! --->> bunk beds scene from step brothers

and now for another song...with sadie making that beginning transition out of our bed, i'm thinking about all the years of having the kids in bed with us. waking up to see their little sleeping faces, smiling in a dream, or drooling. and spooning. all beautiful. i will miss that...

Morning Lullabies
by Ingrid Michaelson

Yesterday
I woke up
With your head on my arm
My hand was numb
Circulation gone
But I dared not move the pretty sleeping one
The sun had painted
Patterns on your face
As you breathed Sunday air
You rolled onto
My open arm
I became your pillow; you let me smooth your hair

I will sing you morning lullabies
You are beautiful and peaceful this way
I know you have to close your eyes on everyone
Let me help you, I'll sing you to sleep
With morning lullabies

Let me lie in the curve
Of your body tonight
And I will hear you tumble into sleep
I will watch you heal, watch you heal with me

I will sing you morning lullabies
You are beautiful and peaceful this way
I know you have to close your eyes on everyone
Let me help you, I'll sing you to sleep
With morning lullabies
I know you have to close
Your eyes on everyone
Let me help you, I'll sing you to sleep
With morning lulla-bye, bye, baby
Close your eyes and I will sing you
Morning lullabies
And I will sing you
Morning lullabies

from laughing to crying...life is amazing that way!!

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in my head, in my songs

i feel very much inside the songs i'm listening to lately, especially today. sometimes i just get really inside my head listening. and feeling. this past year brought with it so many joys and so many sorrows. i find that i'm a little swallowed up by the emotions of both, conflicting and swirling around in my heart, making me sway, cry, laugh, and SING. so i'm sharing lyrics today. it's a good day for lyrics. later, i will go to a birthday party and be with many people that i love. it is good to love. it is good to feel, even when it hurts. but it is especially good to love and be loved.

COMPANY OF FRIENDS
by Danny Schmidt

When I die, let them judge me by my company of friends
Let them know me as the footprints that I left upon the sand
Let them laugh for all the laughter
Let them cry for laughter’s end
But when I die, let them judge me by my company of friends

When I die, let them toast to all the things that I believe
Let them raise a glass to consciousness
And not spill a drop for grief
Let the bubbles rise at midnight
Let their tongues get light as thieves
And when I die, let them toast to all the things that I believe

I believe in restless hunger
I believe in red balloons
I believe in private thunder
In the end I do believe

I believe in inspiration
I believe in lightning bugs
I believe in slow creation
In the end I do believe

I believe in ink on paper
I believe in lips on ears
I believe what's shared is savored
In the end I do believe

I believe in work on Sundays
I believe in raising barns
I believe in wasting Mondays
In the end I do believe

I believe in intuition
I believe in being wrong
I believe in contradiction
In the end I do believe

I believe in living smitten
I believe all hearts will mend
I believe our book is written
By our company of friends


When Mac Was Swimming
by The Innocence Mission

When Mac was swimming, I was running late,
walking around New Orleans looking for a birthday cake.
It was a great surprise to him so many people came.
Nobody knows, darling.
Nobody knows how they are loved.
Don't worry, my darling, the sun's coming up.

Let's get up early now, dive clear into the day.
Let's get out of the car with open arms,
not wait to be embraced.
The flowers that grew, the things that happened
since the day you came.
Nobody knows, darling.
Nobody knows how they are loved.
Don't worry, my darling, the sun's coming up.Share

a little too much fun lately

well, first of all, one thing that happened since i last blogged was this:i took that picture of my tv...nice huh?...i loved watching the whole inauguration!!

okay, we must really get a little rest at some point!! just wanted to share glimpses of the fun we've been having with friends. one day i'll post those deep, inside my head, thoughtful posts again. but for now, i'm too tired!!!!

as always, there is a lot of fun with our local tribe:

and some playing in an unexpected dumping of snow:

these were taken the night we got back from my nephew's 3rd birthday party in knoxville (i forgot my camera!!). there was about an inch when we left and none in knoxville. by the time we got home, there was a ton of snow on the ground!!

and some boxing on the wii:

we went to the lovejoys' house last weekend for cameron's 21st birthday party. it was really wonderful seeing so many of our new unschooling friends there! it is always a warm and loving time at their house. a slideshow is needed for that adventure: (run mouse over pix to stop slideshow and to see captions)

the day after returning from columbia, we had some visitors up from alabama...the aycocks!! they arrived just as i was finishing up rearranging all the furniture, i could not be stopped!! an impromptu potluck and lots of laughing and conversation and video games...a perfect evening!! worthy of a slideshow too:

the past 2 days have been spent doing "NOTHING" but watching videos and resting, the boys creating steampunk thingamajigs (here's one on samuel's flickr)...and eating, lots of eating!! and reading and playing with, and me trying to fix, nerf guns. and more eating. tonight we will break our hiatus by going to ren's house for a much needed and missed imagination tribe gathering.

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the chocolates came to town

we had a wonderful surprise visit from the traaseth family yesterday. they were up this way to pick up abbi and decided to look at some houses in the jc area...oooh, maybe one day we will entice them to join our east tennessee tribe (i.e. cult)!!!! i had the most fun though because while the other adults were out looking at boring houses in the freezing cold (and scotty & ren were headed off to work), i was hanging out with a bunch of amazing kids!!! later, jess came by with tyler and aleah to hang out too. when everyone (everyone being kelli, tim, bleu, and austin) was back from looking at houses, we fixed dinner and talked awhile longer before they headed back to georgia (but we kept kyra...mwahahaha...to be returned safely to them next weekend at the lovejoys' house). ren, bleu, jess, and austin hung out with me for a little longer before heading out too. sadie, sierra and kyra had planned a sleep over at ren's but sadie wasn't sure if she would be able to stay all night. she worried she would wake up and want to come home. so we decided to just move the party to ren's house for a little while to see if sadie would either stay or go when the rest of us went home for the night. she decided to come home. good choice because she started sneezing and blowing her nose soon after getting home, not feeling well still.

it was a really beautiful, love-filled day. one of my favorite moments was when scotty and i were talking in the kitchen and all the kids were in the living room around the computer singing at the top of their lungs and completely in sync with one another...a jazon mraz song...and it was so awesome!! i just smiled at scotty, so filled with how much they all just loved being together and having fun. scotty said, "and imagine they might all move here!!" i said to him "you do realize there is only 1 child out there that doesn't live here already?!"...we just laughed, sometimes we forget the huge community that we are now a part of.

and now for the slide show!!! E.N.J.O.Y.

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radio stars

yesterday, ren and i did a radio interview. we had a lot of fun together answering questions, laughing, and learning how the speaker function works on my phone!! we talked about imagination tribe, the radical unschoolers network, our friendship, and a few other unexpected things =). we also discussed ren's book she has been working on for a few years now which she recently asked me to illustrate. we hope to have that together sometime this fall. you can listen to the interview on blog talk radio. afterwards we went to lunch together, something we have never done. i haven't done anything without the kids in a very very very long time, so it was nice and relaxing.

ren and i at atlanta bread company...yum!

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the fun week that ended in a cloud pajamas and rainbow colored body art sleepover

we have been having a fun week hanging out with taylor and karina while austin is out of town on business (i.e. not having as much fun as us!). monday, we went SHOPPING at petsmart, gamestop and then wal-mart...i don't think i've ever spent so much time at any of these places when i had such small lists. kids can have fun ANYWHERE apparently!!! i have to admit it was fun for me too because i played a wii game at gamestop that had me totally hooked (i'm not much into video games really but when i do find one i like, well the children go hungry and the house uncleaned). yesterday, we spent the afternoon at the mall, visiting with ren in the food court and at the mac counter (the girls had her do their make up). then the kids figured out some crazy way to play hide-and-seek...all over the mall...crazy i said!! last night sierra joined us for the night as well and they all put on their matching pajamas (the girls i mean...LOL). we also did some really fun sharpie marker tattoos which we've been debating whether or not is safe and doing some internet searches on it. apparently you shouldn't use it on your skin. hmmm. so we're looking for other markers to use. but in the meantime, i haven't exactly been convinced that it is any worse than some of the stuff we find in our food or air. and we can't forget all the fun playing on the wii..........weeee!! here are some fun pix:


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