happiness

i haven't felt like doing much blogging although there's a lot going on right now that i could blog about and i'm sure i'll get around to eventually (maybe), but doing tags is easy for my brain at the moment so here goes another.

mindy tagged me with this sweet one: it's called "hooked on your blog" and i'm not really sure i understand the image that goes with it as there really is not a link to anything...anyway...

six things that add to my happiness and joy!! i'm going to go with what is on my mind in this moment:

1. it was warm and sunny yesterday so the kids and i went for a walk around the neighborhood.

2. early morning love-making.

3. we have a huge, and i mean really huge (think 15), group of cedar waxwings living near our house now that swoop around the bushes and trees all the time.

4. the boys are playing some wild and silly game right now called "WoW meets crazy idea that samuel had meets harry potter entrance exam and quoting youtube videos" with costumes and everything.

5. sadie figured out a cool way to use her old tights, so she just now brought me some scissors and had me cut them off for sleeve/wrist warmers...and she's really happy with them. she's now pulling ALL of her tights out to see which ones she wants to do next!

6. i'm looking out the window and it's snowing. and although i really don't like the cold, there is something simply beautiful about new-fallen snow. and it reminds me of how cozy our life is inside our house and how lucky we are to be here together everyday.

okay, now here is the fun part...tagging...who shall i tag??? is it 5 people? okay...

jessica, who never fails to surprise me and make me smile (thanks for the bag!!).

ren, who is like a big sister to me as well as a friend (you can be both apparently).

cheryl, who i really miss being best friends with and living in the same town together.

kelli, who i am just getting to know although we've met several times.

brenna, who married the man i didn't and shares the best stuff on her blog.

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25 random things about me...

okay so i got tagged by a couple people on facebook to do this note thingy and i finally got around to doing it and decided to put it on my blog as well.

1. love & hate minutiae: i love when it's raining and you go under a bridge and it's suddenly really quiet for just a split second before you drive back into the pouring rain...i love that quiet part. i hate when health foods/products companies use the phrase "it's a totally organic experience" in their slogans.

2. i used to live in a really rural place called hiltons, virginia...most people know that is where the carter family fold is...and that we are sort of related to the carters, by marriage not blood.

3. i had 2 nicknames in high school....la and catfight. i still go by la. catfight was because a friend said that's what my hair looked like, like a catfight happened on my head.

4. i walked many many many blocks home alone from school in the snow when i was 5 or 6. no one was home and i fell asleep on the porch. when i woke up i walked to a neighbor's house and she put me on the couch with blankets and warm tomato soup. to this day, i hate the cold. and i love tomato soup and crackers.

5. i haven't felt like dancing or doing art in months.

6. i take lots of pictures because i worry i won't remember things...and that is mostly true, i do forget a lot, always have.

7. almost all of our furniture was found or given.

8. the only thing i still use that i learned in high school is typing.

9. i like disco...and barry manilow..............shhhhh don't tell anyone!!!

10. i often feel like i don't know anything about anything.

11. i can eat a whole bag of chips by myself!! regular lay's please!

12. when i was in high school, i went on a date with a boy named tony catron. we went to a movie and afterwards he took me to watch a tractor pull...we didn't go in though, we went up on a hill above it to watch for free.

13. there was a club in johnson city when i was in college called "the highlander" and my boyfriend and i and sometimes some other friends would go there to dance and hang out and listen to bands play. it was dirty and noisy and smoky. i loved it, i miss it!!

14. i don't ever ever ever need to drink to have a good time or to be able to get out on a dance floor!

15. i've never tried any kind of drug...not even marijuana. but when i was in the 8th grade, i was the class clown and super hyper, and my boyfriend was a known druggy...everyone assumed i was too.

16. i never eat anything for breakfast but fruit.

17. i rarely think of myself as a grown up. i used to think i'd start feeling grown up when i turned 30, then when that didn't happen i started thinking maybe at 40...now that i'm getting closer to 40, i'm thinking that i will probably always feel like a kid.

18. when i was in the third grade, i was tested for a gifted program. i did not make it in; i was lacking in library skills they said. my best friend made it though, and she went on to be in a different third grade class leaving me behind. i think about that sometimes, walking out of the school building feeling so sad and like a failure and it is one of the very few memories I have from that time.

19. i have a longing to belong. the need for community. but it is also the core of one of my deepest inner conflicts. the need to belong and the need to not belong. i often feel like i can't handle the belonging. that i don't have enough of me to go around...so i'm often happiest when my "community" is very very tiny. if it tries to get bigger i tend to freak out. and then the longing comes back...it is a terrible cycle, round and round i go...wanting and not wanting, needing and not needing.

20. i cheated on 18 and 19 because i got stumped and couldn't think of anything to write so i randomly pulled up really really old blog posts...and snipped from them.

21. i'm listening to sondre lerche's song "after all" and it makes me smile. he is yummy.

22. winter makes me want to curl up in a blanket on the couch and watch movies or read and eat, eat, eat!!!

23. i keep everything!!

24. i share more of myself than i should sometimes. this makes me a very vulnerable person. i am also a pretty naive person as well.

25. i really like my life right now, even though i have the winter blahs.

26. i can't believe i finished this!! that's just an extra one for me ;0) you don't have to do 26!


the rules that came with it in case you're curious what this is about:
Rules (but I would prefer to call them "Suggestions"):Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to (IF YOU WANT TO, OF COURSE) write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
Of course, you don't HAVE to do any of this, only if you feel like it'd be fun!!!!)Share

spring meme

miss CG tagged me. i wasn't gonna play. memes make my head spin. but i changed my mind and decided to be sociable.

Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger, and post these rules.
2. Share 5 wild crazy facts about yourself.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post, and list their names, linking to them.
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.
5. There should be five rules so I'm (CG) adding this one. Even though I didn't tag five people. And this isn't technically a rule. Go figure. (i had to leave this in because it made me laugh).

here are my 5 "wild crazy facts" that are going to be just off the top of my head. i cannot dig too deep for this. that would be dangerous for all involved.

1. every time i listen to music i imagine i'm on a stage as i'm singing and dancing along.

2. i type unbelievably fast. that skill is the ONLY thing i learned in high school that was useful. wanna race?

3. i cannot ever get my temperature regulated. i am constantly messing with the ac or heat in the car or putting the window up and down...and it drives scotty nuts. at the park, if it's a cool/sunny day i am on and off with my jacket all day long. in the summer i take a jacket with me everywhere because i am usually in a tank top and shorts and i will die of frost bite when i go inside somewhere with too much freakin ac. it will almost make me cry if i've forgotten my jacket and i end up at wal-mart in the vegetable or refrigerator sections.

4. if i look at my feet too long, they begin to look freakishly weird and unfamiliar. they look like monkey feet.

5. i am not afraid to dance in public places, the mall, grocery...wherever. if a song i love comes on, it cannot be helped.

who am i going to tag?? i never know enough people for these things. let's see:
heather
jess
paul
that's it'. i would do ren, but CG already got her. i got nuthin'!!Share

memememememememememe

ren memed me and i'm late getting to it, but here goes:

here's the meme:
1) Post a note about a blogger you would like to see something wonderful happen for. Maybe one whose posts have touched your heart in one way or another. Include details as to why you admire them and what you wish for them. Be as supporting and affirming as you can.

2) Post your favorite memory around selflessness, giving or doing for others. Something that has actually changed you.

3) As a postscript, name one thing you will actually do for someone in your life before December 31 that is born out of joy.

4) Tag 3 other bloggers who will play the game and find the spirit. Don't forget to leave a comment on their blog so they continue to share the good feelings.


1) a blogger that i love and have only met once personally is heather. she inspires me with her quest for unschooling information and her desire to unschool her children. she is also sparkly and creative and fun and i admire her art work. what i wish for her is that she learns to let go of the struggle. that she will just dive right into this unschooling life and ENJOY it.

2) i think most days as a mom are selfless. BUUUUUT, if i have to pick any one moment, it would have to be the moment i realized i can say YES more. this relates to my last post about food as well as just more yeses in general. this could easily get long so i'm going to try for brevity. life has changed a lot since then. saying yes requires me to be more available. not that i've been unreachable but i have had moments of "not right now" and getting away from that has been freeing. i haven't been as anxious about food as i thought i would be either.

3) i already did this one. the other day scotty was saying how much he loved the gogol bordello cd i got for him for christmas and how he really wanted more. so while he was in the shower i downloaded "super taranta!" from gomusic.ru and burned a cd with a cool picture of them that i found for the cd cover. he was really excited about it. it was unexpected and it made me happy to send him off to work with a big smile.

4) i tend to not tag. and given that it is the 31st already, well...Share