last night, my littlest babe of only 8 years spent the night with her friend sierra. i was not ready for that. it was her first time. and mine. because, even though she's got 2 older brothers, she's the first to venture out into the sleepover world.the boys and i were not feeling up to the ATC thing last night and so we needed to leave early. sadie was nowhere near ready to leave, so she asked to stay with sierra. she was unsure if she would be able to stay all night but she wanted to try. and so i let go. but not without a little bit of freaking out. i felt like puking leaving her there. just leaving.
thank goodness heather came over a little after we got home because it helped keep my mind off worrying about sadie. but after she left, the freakout resumed and i called ren's house to see how sadie was doing. she was fine...OF COURSE. of course she was fine. she's so independent. it was bittersweet, to be sure. i got off the phone and cried like a million babies. all the while smiling. my little girl is growing up and away. already. i wanted to be a fly on the wall and watch her bloom without me. to get that peek we always want but know we can never have into their worlds that don't include us.
i went upstairs earlier and, like always, when i got to the top of the stairs i looked into the bedroom to see if sadie was still sleeping. the bed was already made. i had forgotten that i did that first thing this morning, something i never get to do because she is always still sleeping. something about the already made bed made it seem so much sadder.i will go pick her up later and i'm sure that when i see her face i will know for certain that this is just the beginning.
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