schooool's out for-evaaa...come on everybody, let all ya hairs hang out!!!

this dream...

2011-03-16T10:14:00.000-04:00

last night i had the worst school dream i think i've ever had. i was myself but i was also a kid and i was not my kids' mom anymore but their sister. and we had decided to go to school. we had never been to school before and we were nervous. but in my mind somewhere i knew that i had been to school before but i knew i wasn't really me anymore. i was sitting at a table with pam horton and mary montgomery and all the other people around me were people from high school, but i couldn't tell you who exactly now. there was a test being passed out and we had to share the question sheet. i kept reading it and trying to understand what it was asking but i couldn't and i asked mary and pam and they said they couldn't talk. i tried answering it on my paper and couldn't write. i started panicking. i kept trying to understand the question and talking it out but then the teacher came and we all got in trouble. mary and pam were so mad at me. everyone was mad at me and they were all looking at me and talking about me and how stupid i was. i started to cry but held it back. and then my chest started hurting. i left the classroom. i started leaving and as i was leaving i found samuel and he was leaving too. and then sadie was leaving. we passed silas and he was playing with some kids and wasn't upset at all, but he left with us anyway. my chest kept hurting and i finally started crying and it kept hurting until i fell on the ground and couldn't breathe and it just hurt so bad. i was able to eventually get up and we kept walking home. we came to a river with a bridge over it. the bus was coming and it wasn't going to stop for us and kids were pointing at us from the bus. so we went to the river and looked down. and then we all jumped in. i remember being worried about sadie, but then we were okay and we swam across and it took forever to get to the other side. and then we went home and i was hurting so bad that i could feel i was starting to wake up from it. when we got home, MY mom was our mom and that startled me so much that i woke up. and my chest still hurt. and i still feel like i can't take a really good deep breath.

i woke to find a wonderful text from my friend jana. just a beautiful affirmation kind of out of the blue text. it helped me to wake up from the freakiness of that dream and i wrote back to simply say thanks but found myself in a halfsleep telling her about what i've been feeling: "i have been in a very isolated space lately and most everything i do right now is obligation. i am trying to heal something deep and learning to take the time to do it is hard. i am blessed with amazing women like you in my life who accept me for just me. trying not to feel like i have to be more than that is hard. thank you for reminding me of what IS." the thing is, nothing about my life right now is hard, but there are things that i try to work through while also navigating this amazing, very full and happy life and that can be daunting.

i can't help but feel that this dream was telling me that i am on the right path...no matter how hard it is. i am trying to walk away from ways that no longer serve me. a few years ago i got sort of shell shocked by someone and it caused me to build a callous, to lose my carefreeness and to be more cynical than i have ever been in my life. so i started reading about taoism again, this has helped me start to unearth my authentic pooh-like self. i know that i have let go of a lot of that old hurt, but in many ways i still carry it around and it is terribly heavy. a weight in my chest. it skewed my vision of everyone around me and i lost a lot of the progress i had made towards embracing friendship after so many years of pushing it away.

wow, i can take a deep breath now. that feels really good.

to be a mother

2011-02-07T10:41:00.000-05:00

this weekend was my mom's birthday. 40 years ago she was getting ready to have another baby, me, her 3rd. she was 21. she would have one more baby by the time she was 26. all girls.

we went over to visit, just me and the kids. my mom was home alone, it was the day after her birthday and she was tired from the trip out of town they had taken. everyone else had gone to my little sister's house to watch the football game. so we sat and talked for a few hours. the kids listening and commenting sometimes. but mostly listening. we talked about some of the things going on with the family. the dysfunction of it all. the usual.

she was telling me how she is learning mindfulness. which led to talking about parenting and she said that when she was growing up she thought how things were in her family were normal. and when she had kids, she just did what she thought was normal, even though she did try to be less abusive than her father. by the time she realized that abuse wasn't normal, that there were these other families that had happy, healthy relationships, she already had 3 kids and didn't really know how to change anything. there weren't all the books and support and punitive parenting was still more prevalent than it is now. she talked about what a family should be like and wishing that she had been able to change back then. she told me that she and my oldest sister were talking and they felt like my family (me, scotty, the kids) were what they thought a perfect family should be. this brought on such a rush of emotion for me. i have always felt resentment from my family, for my choices in parenting and life in general. they have given the impression, and even sometimes said the words, that they felt like i thought i was better than them. i realized years later that it was their resentment, their feelings of being judged simply by my choice to do differently that put a wall between us.

we're dysfunctional. we know how to get together and pretend like things are normal. this is how it's always been done. in the past few years though, i've been feeling an unraveling of that pretense. that we are becoming more willing to talk about the past. i think this is helping us finally heal. she is learning to be a good parent to the grandkids they are raising/helping to raise, she is also letting my dad do more of the parenting this time around. i admire that and i'm jealous of that at the same time. but supportive like crazy of it!!

we talked about what i've had to do for the last 15 years to become the parent i knew i could be, the work of undoing all the learned, knee-jerk behaviors and parenting. how hard that has been. there was a time when i didn't think i would be able to say those things to her. i feel confident now more than ever that she understands and we aren't shushing the past anymore.

this is what it takes to be a mother. it takes more than love. there has to be some kind of intention, some idea of what kind of mother you want to be and then get to work doing that.

for years i doubted that my mother loved us, more specifically whether she loved me or not. i know now that if love were enough to be a good mom, she would've been a better one. she did and does love us, very much. i know this now. and it is healing to no end.

memory lane this morning

2010-08-30T09:43:00.004-04:00

scotty left for the first day of classes this morning on his bike. he returned within half an hour with a broken chain. he was going to drive to class but i told him i'd take him as he would never find a parking space in time. and i was right. i can't believe the number of cars on campus now. they keep making more parking lots and still there are not enough spaces. what is that about?? when i was going to etsu, it was tough to find spots but there weren't as many cars actually moving about on campus searching for spaces or dropping people off. just seems to be TONS of cars now. it looks like every student has a car. ah well...

so anyway, i got the chance to drive by ball hall, the art building...MEMORIES!! and i saw veda hull walking across the street. that really took me back to the days of art history classes. just so happened that i was listening to some camper van beethoven (telephone free land slide victory)...it got me thinking about those 4 years i spent as an art student at a university. if i could do it all over again, i would've just gone to an art school. or not gone at all. no, i would've gone...having access to so many types of art, people, and different mediums gave me a chance to explore more than i might've on my own. probably wouldn't be the same person now if not for those experiences.

i don't remember thinking about what i would do in my life...i was very in the moment and didn't have any visions of being a professional artist. i thought i'd just work at kinko's forever and do art on the side i guess...i really can't remember.

as i'm writing this i'm listening to a bob mould song that i pulled up because it came into my mind after reading a facebook post that mentioned husker du...and it's funny how it just fits with this moment...

bob mould, see a little light video

Listen, there's music in the air
I heard your voice, coming from somewhere
But look how much we've grown
I guess i should have known

As the years go by, they take their toll on you
Think of all the things we wanted to do
And all the words we said yesterday
That's a long time ago
You didn't think i'd really go, now
Are you waiting? (i know why)
You're already saying goodbye
Are you ready? (i know why)

I see a little light, i know you will
I can see it in your eyes, i know you still care
But if you want me to go
You should just say so

there is no real point to this post...just meandering thoughts from this morning. no revelations. no insights. just my brain. on display. like it used to be.

the wheel

2010-08-28T08:25:00.004-04:00

it goes 'round and 'round...

yesterday, scotty and i went yardsaling on the tree streets. it's an annual ginormous yard sale that goes on for several blocks and several streets. we went by ourselves. it was relaxing and spontaneous. we hadn't even made plans to go until that morning. we held hands and walked and talked. we bought things we needed and didn't need. normal. everyday. marriage. just being in the moment together.

it seems more lately than ever that we sometimes forget to just be with each other. we get into our own things and forget to connect, to really, truly connect. after 16 years together, i think we just have to try harder. i don't really know, this isn't about knowing. i've never really blogged about knowing anything. i usually just ponder. that's what i do.

i've spent the last 15 years trying to be a good mom, re-wiring my brain to let go of the things i learned growing up so that i could be the mom i knew i was meant to be. somewhere along the way i think i got it down pretty well. but recently, i've been feeling like i need to start with a clean slate for being a good partner as well. not that i've been a bad one, but there are so many things i get wrong or don't understand or just resist when it comes to relationships. things, again, that i learned from my past.

i've been looking at all the helpful one-liners that were easy reminders for how to parent well and seeing them as also very useful for how to partner well. things like "would you treat a stranger how you just treated your child?" or "would you talk to your partner the way you talk to your child?" the sort of questions in the parenting books that i really liked that dealt with respect and leaving dignity intact. scotty and i both had to learn these things to be the parents we wanted to be.

these same things came so naturally a long time ago when we were just getting to know each other. somehow the years make us less considerate and careful of our words. i'm not saying we are not good to each other. because we are. i think we just forget.

so i'm working on remembering. changing habits. that's a hard thing to do. but so was changing the things i knew about parenting and the knee-jerk reactions that came along with them.

getting back to really listening, not judging, being engaged, more patient and kind.

sounds simple enough...right??

AMY STEINBERG

2010-03-30T07:50:00.008-04:00

okay, so i haven't blogged in awhile. big surprise. i've got this idea in my head that i need to blog everything in chronological order and so when i get behind...i REALLY get behind!! i don't want to post new stuff because i haven't posted old stuff yet and so it goes. BUT, i've found lately that when doing a facebook status i'm having to delete spaces and exclamation points and WHOLE words to fit in under the 420 word limit. so i'm thinking i probably need to start blogging again just to have space to say all the stuff i want to say. that said, here's a new post!!!

last night, after derby practice, we went to acoustic coffeehouse next door. it was transformed into the church of amy steinberg and we were seriously in need of the gospel according to amy. opening for her was our own teresa robinson! this was her first time playing for a public audience. it was an honor to witness that. she's a tiny girl with a powerful voice that i would've never suspected since she is just so quiet.

when amy took the stage for her soundcheck, i was all ears. i love this woman. she is such an inspiration. her music is soul feeding. and her voice ain't too shabby either. she makes a performance out of her sound check for goodness sakes!!! she moves the audience to participate with singing along and dancing and feeling everything she is putting out there on the stage.

i'm still recovering from the crud we've had around here, so i sat for most of the performance (just doing a little chair dancing) but a few times i was moved to get up and dance. and sing. and shout. i'm sort of paying for it today. but it was totally worth it.

i told amy afterwards that i was thinking about the first time i saw her play. it was almost exactly 3 years ago, at the home of ben and kelly lovejoy. we didn't know anyone there except the jones family we brought with us!! it's amazing to think about that because many of the people that were there that weekend are now some of the most important people in my life. i sat way in the back of the yard that day. last night, i had a front row seat! it felt like she was singing to me all night. of course, it was a small venue so it would've felt that way no matter where i sat. although she did say at one point that she specifically wanted to make love to me...laura bowman...so i'm pretty sure the whole concert was just for my benefit.

we hung out for a little when it was over and helped pick up and pack up. samuel helped up on the stage and i, being the dorky documenting mom i am, had to get a picture...

the kids played with the cool old organ that sits in the back against the wall and said we really needed to get one of those. silas did a little stand up on stage that i didn't know about until he was done because i was talking with amy and ren near the door. i hate that i missed that. and sadie ran around with her posse as usual.

as we were leaving, i could feel the adrenaline rush start to fade and was reminded that i was sick. so after laughing and talking with the kids in the dining room (while scotty was trying to do some homework...oops!) i went to bed and fell asleep with amy's voice in my head...we go round and round and round and round and roooound.

a perfect snow day

2009-12-20T07:29:00.005-05:00

remember when you were a kid and it would snow and you would hope and hope and hope that school would be closed?? well, yesterday was like that. scotty didn't have to go to work because their power was out and functions were cancelled..woo hoo!! i had that same excitement, especially with how many hours he's been working lately, the idea of a surprise day off was wonderful!!

we hung out for awhile, took some snow pictures, and finally realized that we actually could get out of the house to go to the grocery store. but none of the kids wanted to come. i was rewriting a list for scotty when i realized that i'd like to go to. so we went grocery shopping...by ourselves. and while grocery shopping is generally an enjoyable and fun experience with the kids, there was something especially fun about going with scotty alone. we were gone for about 4 hours and we only went to earth fare and krogers!! there was no rush to hurry and get home, we just took our time looking at things we normally don't see and sampling food and talking and laughing and asking the employees questions about products and just having fun. we also spent more than usual. scotty got some fancy cheese with truffles in it, and i picked out several things that weren't on the list.

ahh, the list...one of the reasons we bought so much was because i had the kids write the grocery list this time. something i decided to do again as it had been forever since we had done it. it's so easy to just be on auto-pilot when buying food. it helps me to have the kids remind me of things they actually want in-that-moment as opposed to just getting things i know they usually like. because that changes. often. they put snacks they wanted, specific kinds of chips and fruit, they put certain meals they like. silas put "kabetori" on the list which is something i try to make every couple months, as well as homemade salsa instead of the usual herdez, and doritoes. sadie put mostly fruit and then candy canes, tissues, ice cream, and sriracha!! samuel put macaroni and cheese and cereal. it was an interesting and diverse list.

at earth fare, we learned from my favorite cashier that "chop chop" is not politically correct. scotty was joking with me to hurry and put the groceries on the conveyer belt so he could get the bags...and he said "chop chop!" ah, you learn something new every day. we had a few laughs with her about where the cash in my wallet really came from. she is funny and nice, she's the same one who thought tim traaseth and i were siblings...and she gave me a rose last time i was there. at krogers we took more time just because i'm trying to learn the layout of the store...since i don't shop at wal-mart anymore i have to figure out how to navigate in different places. one fun game we played at the checkout was don't-give-the-cashier-your-kroger-card-until-after-all-items-are-rung-up...then when she swipes it and you watch all your savings add up you shout out "lottery!!" it made her laugh. she looked like she needed a laugh.

we finished around 4:30, went home, unloaded and put away groceries and then went to get some mexican food which i hadn't had in ages, probably since duncan stayed with us. it was so good...scotty and i shared veggie fajitas with all the fixins! silas discovered that one of the knives on the table was slightly magnetized and we had fun playing with that for longer than you'd think 5 people could play with a bunch of butter knives in a restaurant setting. we left full and happy!

as we were leaving scotty suggested we run across the street to earth fare (again) to get my floradix as i'd been craving ice and paper towels lately. did i mention the restaurant is next door to krogers. so yeah, we went to both places twice that day. as we were pulling into earth fare i told everyone how moments like these made me realize how filled with abundance our lives are. i had a house full of groceries and yet we went out to eat. i had a full belly and was sitting in a warm car. all these luxuries when there are kids with not enough to eat, little to no clean water, or decent shelter. these are things i'm thankful for. that we have so much and being able to express to my kids those feelings of gratitude and abundance.

then we went and got 2 movies from redbox ("julie & julia" and "whatever works", which i fell asleep watching). on our way home we decided to drive around the tree streets and look at lights and search for snowmen. to everyone's amusement one of the first houses we saw that had a snowman also had a 6 foot snow penis!! merry christmas indeed!! we drove up and down for about 20-30 minutes enjoying it all, talking and laughing. at some point i shouted out...this is our new tradition!! every year i start thinking about family traditions and how we simply don't have any other than putting up a tree and going to my parents' house to eat and open presents. yeah, i know that's a lot and i am thankful for all of it. but i can't help always wanting some special tradition of our own. so now i think we'll do this every time it snows enough for good snowman making. i was really surprised at how many huge snowmen there were to be found! it was encouraging to see that people still get out and make them!!

when we got home, the kids played out in the snow for awhile until the snowball fight got a little rough and silas got hurt. everyone came in and shed their wet, snowy clothes and settled in to watch movies...except silas, he decided to play WoW instead. it was a wonderful, cozy evening. i fell asleep on the couch feeling content and happy to be part of an amazing family that loves to spend time together in so many different ways.

a few snowy day pix...

sadie's snowflake window

the snow covered mail box

samuel and silas' fertility god snowman (inspired by the statues made in the movie "accepted")

sadie heading out to play in the snow

some of september...

2009-12-18T08:59:00.025-05:00

the very first thing i have to say about september 1st was that it was the day we made the final payment on our van!!! almost 2 months early...woo hoo!!!

one of the few pictures taken that day, i think silas took it...

i started quilting my 1st textile piece after i picked up my sewing machine from being repaired...

can't remember what day we saw this, but it was maybe a few days before...this is the caption i put on it for facebook: "we were at earth fare the other day and there was a showing of a local photographer and the kids spotted this in one of his photographs taken at MOTS. it's hard to see in this picture taken with the phone, but there we were in the lower left corner of the picture...on ren's blanket of course!!!"

it was also jake wechgelaer's birthday. but they were in upstate new york at that time and we didn't get to see him until later that month.

sept. 2, woke up around 2:30 and couldn't sleep, mind swirling with ideas of starting a summer camp for unschoolers, so i spent some time doing research and found a lot of information that will be useful. went back to bed...got up later with a desire to work in the garden, planted fall spinach and lettuce...which did not come in at all...i have a lot of work to do on my garden this coming spring...still SO much to learn!! later i scrubbed down the front porch, outside of the house and the windows...nothing like early morning brain storming and then getting a good sleep to really get you going!!

sept. 3, SOFH hang out day at carver!! had to have some pal's fries afterwards too!! getting ready for a fun weekend with friends!!

sept. 4, the traaseths came to town and went to first friday with us. we went to mid city grill for the first time after first friday...it's in the old highlander club location and it's really awesome. we all ordered food and fries and when the fries came...we were blown away by the size of the plate...so much yummy goodness!!!! can't wait to go again sometime...ren blogged about it here. and i'm stealing this picture from there too...starving kids waiting for FOOD!!!!...

sept. 5, hanging out, playing games, talking, laughing, drumming. ONE of my facebook statuses for the day: "last night, i was getting restless standing around so i told everyone i was going to walk down the street. ALL the kids came with. at one point abbi says something like "yeah, all the parents are back there just standing around." totally not sure if that's exactly what she said. but i didn't say a word. just smiled to myself."

sadie and saddi...

rummikub!!!

sept. 6, more of the same...fun love fun love happy happy joy joy...

hanging out on the couch...

hanging out on the porch...

and then they left =( and we vegged out on star trek dvds!!

sept. 7, this was another total veg-out with star trek dvds day!!

sept. 8, finished quilting my first textile...titled it "this woman's work" and went to get a frame for it.

also noticed that the biggest watermelon in my garden had been cut out and taken!! wtf!!??

09/09/09, a very cool date!! finished framing my textile piece early in the morning and then spent the rest of the afternoon on the computer...later, sadie, scotty and i went to michael's where i picked up a couple more frames AND ran into one of my best friends from high school!! then we went to mahoney's to get samuel a new sleeping bag for NBTSC. then to redbox to pick up a movie...earth...which was really beautiful to watch. a facebook status on the following day:

"happy studio this morning. last night, after putting a little more paint on my next textile piece, i was ready to go to bed. then i decided to start another fabric painting (to use up the paint on my palette so it wouldn't be wasted). then i decided to work on a new oil pastel. it feels good to actually have this drive again." hoping to get back to that place again soon. i also framed a large mixed-media piece..."this woman's work, study"

sept. 10, finished the oil pastel figure study...not real happy with the head but never got around to fixing it...still not happy with it...

later, we went to ren's house to hang out and meet taylor and karina's mom, eileen. patti and austin dropped by as well. as usual, there was food and lots of talking and laughing. i wish i had taken some pictures!!

sept. 11, noticed that there are less and less commemorative events for this date. got up early and took the car in for an oil change and did a little shopping for samuel's camp trip, then to kinko's to make some business cards to take to ripper arts gallery in kingsport. later the kids and i went there to drop off my artwork. then we went to the original pal's...to celebrate my first work in a gallery in ages...and had our usual toasted cheese (from the "secret menu") and fries!!

we stopped at the thrift store on the way home and got a 4-piece samsonite luggage set for $3!! samuel had been looking for suit jackets, he found one that he liked and got it. then home to practice body painting while scotty and the kids played a steampunk game online.

facebook status the following day: "thinks that body painting is a lot like cooking a big meal. you spend hours making it and within minutes it's gone!! that was the thought i had as i stepped into the shower last night to wash off my "practice piece" and watched as the water washed over it and all the colors ran down the drain."

sept. 12, woke with thoughts of the illustrations i'm supposed to be working on for ren. i was so inspired...still am...but can't seem to wrap my mind around actually doing what's inside of my head!! that was a messed up sentence!!! went to the library and then spent the rest of the day being nervous about the gallery reception at ripper's...finally we were on our way and i wasn't so nervous anymore. we had a great time, my parents came, and we got to listen to some live music by ghosts in the woods.

talina and michael ripper talking with the band

the kids hanging out and being so amazingly awesome while the reception was going on!!

my dad talking with photographer jeffrey stoner

ghosts in the woods

the kids had fun taking some pictures downtown during the reception. there were some really cool ones they took with the phone camera but i have no idea where they are!!

sept. 13, is a blur up until i went to paint ren's body for a photo shoot and to practice for the body art show in october. it took about 3 hours to do just her back!! i was so hungry when i left...scotty and the kids went and had mexican food while i was painting...waaaa!!!

sept. 14, i finished the quilting on my second textile piece..."calendar girl"

spent the rest of the day getting ready for our big 2 week trip to maryland, new york, and vermont!!

as you can probably see i've added facebook as a way of remembering stuff to my usual checkbook, pictures and calendar. i also thought of something else that would be useful but terribly time consuming...email!! i'm sure there are lots of details in some of my emails...okay...now that i've started rhyming, i know it's time to quit for the day!!

oh yeah...that other question

2009-11-11T08:27:00.005-05:00

i said before that i had a couple questions...then never got to the other one.

we went on a beach trip in october with a bunch of other unschoolers. it just happened to be in isle of palms, near charleston where we used to live. sooo, we got to meet up with a few friends from there (but unfortunately not everyone we would've liked to). my friend, tracy, asked me one night how i went from being a person who rarely liked to leave her apartment to this new person who now travels all over the place going and doing all sorts of things. good question!

one of the reasons we didn't do a lot back then was because we only had one car. and whenever i did keep the car i was so exhausted from the drive to drop scotty off that i often didn't feel like doing anything anymore (it was a long drive). but i realized later that even when scotty got his jeep, i still didn't want to go anywhere too much. it was a habit to just stay home. it was easier. i used to have such a hard time being social.

anyway...so how did i get from there to here?? short answer...my kids. specifically...silas. long answer...well, you might've heard it already but hear it is anyways...

last year, after we first moved into this house, we went for a walk in our neighborhood and discovered a school with an awesome playground. we played awhile and then walked around the school, looking in the windows and talking about it. on the way home silas mentioned that he might want to try going to school sometime. it was surprising and unexpected...so i asked him why he thought he might like to do that. he said there were some other things he'd like to learn (he never really elaborated on that) but mostly he'd like to have more friends. i told him we'd have to think about it and talk about it some more, that our life didn't really fit into the school schedule but we would have to just see what we could do.

in that moment, i realized i could probably be doing more. we were already getting together with friends a few times a month but he was obviously needing more. we talked about the impression of school that's given in some tv programs...that it's a fun place to hang out with your friends and talk and have a good time. i told him that those weren't very realistic depictions of school, about how we were always told "you're not here to socialize" (which is the one thing that runs through my mind...and makes me laugh...whenever the "socialization" question comes up about homeschooling). i realized he was missing the convenience they had when we lived in the apartment in charleston of having friends around everyday and that moving was a big adjustment with having to make new friends again and that getting together with new friends was going to be harder since we are spread out a bit.

he never really brought it up again, he said he was just sort of thinking out loud and hadn't really firmly decided that was something he wanted to do. but it did push me to become more involved with the friends we were making here. we had already signed up for the live and learn conference at this point so it was definitely something we were looking forward to. in fact, it was the one thing samuel brought up when silas was talking about school, he said "you won't be able to go to the conference!!!" but we had no idea how much it would change our lives.

in the meantime, like i said, i made more of an effort to get together with friends. but it was definitely L&L that made the difference. we met so many people, made so many real connections. and the rest is history. we started getting together for more casual gatherings. going to house concerts at the lovejoy's. and there was also ARGH, which we had been to the previous year when it was in its infancy. then we met even more people at the one that followed the L&L conference last year.

i don't know how i came out of my shell. i know that i was still in throw up mode as we pulled into the parking lot for the conference. big group of mostly strangers. oh fuck!! anxiety and panic set in. but i got through it. i learned a lot about myself that week. and the kids had an amazing time. it just turned a light on inside for all of us.

my point is...to answer tracy's question...i had to do some work, go outside of my comfort zone, meet new people and all that, because i wanted to give my kids a bigger, better experience. not that i think what their lives looked like before was bad or not good enough. but it definitely can always be better...most anything can be. and somewhere along the way i started having a good time, no longer feeling like puking, and really opening myself up to the experience and letting people in, and reaching out.

well, i have realized something else. this is just a rambling bunch of twisting and turning making no sense sentences that go in circles.

i don't even feel like editing it. and that's saying something for me!

some questions lately

2009-10-28T09:23:00.003-04:00

i've had some interesting questions posed to me lately. ones that at first just seemed like easy answers, no biggies. but the more i think about them the more i have to say about them and so i thought i'd put them here. ya know, my blog. the one that used to be filled with this sort of thing until i started using it simply as a what-we-did-in-not-very-much-detail-but-with-pictures-to-fill-in-the-blanks-sort-of-journal-of-days.

and that brings me to one of the questions. ren asked on my last blog post in the comments section about how i could remember all these things with the dates and such. well, i don't. that's the short answer. the truth is that when i sit down to write a long post like that i grab the calendar and my checkbook. and i open up kodak easyshare. with these three things i reassemble the events that have taken place in however long it's been since i last blogged. i do this because i want to get this stuff down to have something to look back on. and i need things to help me remember it all. my calendar has all sorts of stuff written down on it. then i match it up with my checkbook which will usually have something on the same date that will spur more memories of what happened on a particular day. and add that to the pictures and i can pretty much put down some semblance of what we've done.

but herein lies a problem. and this is the thing that got me thinking about this needing to be a blog post. what about the moments, whole days when nothing is planned (therefore not written down on the calendar), where i don't take any pictures, or go anywhere and spend money that might be recorded in my checkbook?? what then? what about those lost moments?? well, they're lost. end of story. that's how my memory is. i sometimes think about that on quiet homey days when the kids are doing their own things and i just get to sit and watch them and enjoy being in the moment. i think...i need to go get the camera!! sometimes i do. but more often, i don't. i don't want to interrupt the naturalness of that moment by turning it into something i need to document. and although i love documenting things, i hold back. sometimes.

awhile back i started thinking about childhood memories. how i love taking pictures so that i will be able to remember things. so my kids will one day be able to recall the events that made up their childhoods. it got so bad that i wanted to document every single moment. then i had this startling thought: what if, even though you don't remember something, it still makes up big chunks and pieces of who you are. well duh!! ever heard of suppressed childhood memories laura??? of course...i've got tons of them...don't recall but a handful of memories of my childhood. but i'd always thought of that sort of thing in regards to the bad stuff. how even not remembering it can have deep and lasting effects. so what about the wonderful times. the tiny moments of pure joy and simplicity of being a child. of being happy. regardless of whether or not anyone remembers it. it is a piece of the puzzle. my kids have tons of happy (and i'm sure not so happy) pieces of their puzzle inside of them that they probably don't even remember. but it makes up who they are. i'm not doing a very good job of describing this moment of clarity i had. but it was so huge for me. that all the little good stuff doesn't have to be remembered forevermore to be a part of who we are. did i go in enough circles with that for ya??

so that's that. i try to keep track of the bigger events in our lives. but the small, quiet ones, i've learned to just soak up in the moment...and know that regardless of my memory it is building a happy nest inside of me. inside of my kids. and sometimes...i simply facebook about them!!! ha ha ha ha ha (that's hysterical laughter in case you didn't know). no pictures necessary.

i've got to get ready for park day now. so the second big question i was going to talk about will have to wait until tomorrow!!

summing up summer

2009-10-21T09:14:00.044-04:00

forgive me father for i have sinned...it has been almost 2 months since my last blog post.

the last day i blogged about was LND which was july 24th!!! holy crap!!

the next day we just sort of hung out at our house, and the day after that too...

saturday, july 25th starts out on the porch...

and then inside for some bananagrams!!

sunday, july 26th...porch time again

some random elbow licking

a little peek-a-boo

and snacks for the ride home

i can find no evidence of the existence of monday. but i'm pretty sure scotty went for a ride and then we went out by ourselves for the afternoon and ate lunch at atlanta bread company.

tuesday, july 28th...sofh picnic day at the nolichucky river!!! had an awesome time with new and old friends alike!!

jana and puppy

isn't it gorgeous!?

loverly mamas

creepy spider!!!

wednesday, july 29th...we met up with jana to check out the paint supplies at artopia. samuel got a few things and then the kids and i went to DQ for a quick treat before we headed out to rock creek again...to paint jana's bus!!! i had never used spray paint like this before...i am NOT a graffiti artist. i really loved the montana paint though!!

all these pix were taken by sadie

afterwards we all went to pizza hut and ate...cuz we were super hungry!! painting and dancing and talking and laughing make for a big appetite.

thursday, july 30th the kids and i went to atlanta bread company for lunch and then the library and then off to ren's house to play some more with jana and her boys and eat and talk and laugh and paint toenails.

friday, july 31st we met up with ren and jana in jonesborough for MOTS. jana got a t-shirt for coming the farthest (from california).

saturday, august 1st, karina and taylor came over for the day to hang out. we went grocery shopping and frightened all the innocent people with our craziness!!

sunday was a redbox movie night...journey to the center of the earth and watchmen.

monday was going to be a blueberry picking day with ren and family...but they were all picked clean (glad i called before we left). so we made it another river day and met up with jana and family again. afterwards, scotty joined us all (minus ren and jalen who had other plans) at el torito's for supper. yum!

tuesday, august 4th was my sister's 40th birthday. she lives in knoxville so we all (my parents and my other sisters and their families) drove there to surprise her. it was an amazing surprise that was all planned by her daughter. when we all walked in, my sister just cried. it was really beautiful to be there in that moment when she needed us most.

thursday, august 6th was hangout day with sofh at carver park. we did some planning while the kids played on the playground and inside (i think they were playing a lot of chess that day). i went home with 4 extra kids, sierra, jalen, karina, and taylor. i'm so blessed!! i did not have to actually birth all of the children i wanted to have (i think i had wanted 5 or 6) and yet i have them!

friday, august 7th...FIRST FRIDAY!! alice, rachel, and jake came up from asheville to go with us. also, deanna, ren, jana, jess, & barb were all there...hope i didn't leave anyone out!! as usual, there was art, music, and dancing!! AND some amazing fresh donuts being fried and glazed right on the spot...these things were HUGE and only 1.50 each. i keep hoping they'll come back again!! the boys found pleasure in going around to the bars asking for diet water and getting kicked out. oh those wacky unschoolers!!

saturday, august 8th...we had a big sleepover with iris, audrey, and nesta!! us mommas finally got it worked out after promising them for awhile. silas and nesta stayed up ALL NIGHT!! the girls made some cool shirts that sierra had showed sadie how to make!!

sunday, august 9th...i finished up a painting that had been sitting undone for years!

silas finally went to bed for awhile to get some rest as we had a trip planned for later to go to rocky mount for the blacksmithing demonstration. he did not want to get up and so we almost didn't go but then he got up and we met with deanna and doug to drop off the kids before heading to the demo.

the girls sporting their new outfits!!

the kids were hungry so we hit pal's on the way to rocky mount. always hot and delicious!!

one of the blacksmithers in action

silas had been wanting to learn more about blacksmithing and this was our first attempt at getting him some exposure to it. he was so tired and it was so hot that it was hard for him to enjoy it fully. maybe another time. still, he seemed pretty glad we went. we finished up our giant pal's teas so we could get ourselves awake and ready to go to my sister's house at 5 o'clock for my nephew's 14th birthday celebration!!

video gaming

some tickling

hanging out

playing the settlers of catan

monday, august 10th was scotty's day off so we walked around downtown, ate at unique treasures for lunch and then went to artopia for some art supplies. later we went to verizon for hours and hours and hours to get our 2 year free phone upgrade and a new line for scotty. we had planned to head home for supper but at this point we were tired and neither of us felt like cooking so we went to the mall food court!! then we hit the redbox and picked up a couple movies for later: coraline and the day the earth stood still.

tuesday was another movie day with 17 again and gigantic

wednesday i worked in the garden a bit...but realized just how much i FAILED at it this year. still learning so much!!

thursday, august 13th...DAIRY QUEEN MIRACLE TREAT DAY, we met up at DQ with ren, jess, deanna, barb, and jana and their families to support the children's miracle network by buying blizzards. oh the hard things we do!! it was also tyler's birthday!!

friday, wes came by to show samuel his new guitar.

saturday, august 15th we went to the mall to pick out some video games for my nephew's 11th birthday and then ate at petro's in the food court...yum...gas...yum. we get the vegetarian chili on our taco salad. sometimes they accidentally give you the meat chili so the kids usually ask me to check it because i know what meat looks like and what tvp looks like. samuel said that he didn't care if he got meat because even though he didn't want to eat meat, he would rather eat it because he knew that if he took it back it would just get thrown away and that was just too wasteful and also wasted of part of that animal's life. wow. i didn't know he felt that way. i think that's a pretty awesome way to look at it. i have no pictures of the birthday party but i do have this one that i took earlier that day:

my kids are weird

saturday, august 16th...asheville time again!! we headed to the wechgelaer's house for a little hanging out, games, talking, lauging and eating...and some downtown action. it was also jess' birthday!!!

sadie and sierra learn how to use the serger and make some really cool stuff

some gaming

talking and hanging in the kitchen

samuel using his powers to stack oranges

success!

a little twister

and computer time...probably watching funny youtube videos!!

crash time!!

the next day we went downtown to walk around and soak up those amazing asheville vibes!! we ate at the delicious mellow mushroom which is coming to our very own jc real soon!!! we also went to true blue art store where i found the most amazing caran d' ache oil pastels, which i wrote about somewhere in this post.

this is for tyler!!! your very own building!!!

what an amazing mural...so much color and shape and yumminess...hey, we match it!!!

a very cool tall bike!! we talked to the guy who made it, he was pretty cool too!!

you can imagine my excitement when i saw these amazing paintings!!!

and this amazing sign!!! asheville has the best galleries!

samuel took a picture of this flyer

snack time at malaprop's

some dancing outside the bookstore

jalen in the red wagon! his poor little foot was too sore for walking!

music outside the bookstore

rested up for a few days and then on wednesday i started working on a piece using my new oil pastels!!

thursday, august 20th...sofh at carver...i have no memory of this day!! was this the day the kids played in the creek all day or was that the next park day?? oh my!!

friday, august 21st...headed to georgia to spend the weekend with the traaseths!! it was the last weekend of the monet exhibit at the high museum in atlanta and they invited us to join them.

kyra showing samuel how to play a song

that big ball is super fun!!!

well, as it turned out only 4 of us went to the museum, everyone else hung out back at the house.

sadie's first ride on the metro!!

there was some really awesome artwork in the tunnels of the metro (actually i think it's called something else???)

atlanta has some really really really tall buildings! we took a wrong turn coming out of the metro but it was worth it because there was a beautiful park and these amazing buildings!!

sadie and monet

sadie and abbi sitting on a chair/table wood sculpture thingy

i took this before the guy told me there was no digital photgraphy allowed, but...

you can take pictures with a camera phone. little did he know that my camera phone would take a better picture!!

more art in the tunnels

waiting for the train

talking on the phone with scotty...i couldn't hear anything!!

again with the mural art

doing some wowing together...i think

rock band??

monday, august 24th...on the way home, i had to stop at this overlook. it's the tallulah gorge!!

do not puke, do not puke, do not puke

we got home around supper time AND scotty was home so we went out to barberito's and ate out on the patio in the almost rain. it was a good ending to our weekend.

tuesday, august 25th...one night of rest and it was time for the picnic day with sofh at the splashpad in kinsport. i was really happy to see so many people show up!! what an awesome place! jc needs one of these...there are rumors that carver will put one in next year!! when the kids were all done with the park, we went to hobby lobby...which is like michael's but with more home decor stuff. i found an awesome quilting magazine that really inspired me...so i had to get it. i've since been working on painted and quilted fabric. more on that later. then the kids and i went to the thrift store. and then home to rest...FINALLY!!

the scariest park equipment ever!!!!

see, they come with warnings! remember how they took out all the "old" equipment because it wasn't safe???

silas and colin have a "pee" war

mmmm that new baby smell

and then there's lots of gratuitous water splashing...just for you ren!!

just us IRLS!

thursday, i took my sewing machine in to be repaired...determined to do this cool quilting thing!! worked on several pieces and then it was off to ren's house for imagination tribe!!

friday was a quiet day, it was also my parents' anniversary and my niece's birthday. we got redbox movies that were supposed to be comedies but really they were not! sunshine cleaning and adventureland.

saturday we went to the library and then to ruby tuesday's where samuel bumped the overhanging lamp shade and it fell down onto our table. it was not securely anchored. only damage was spilled water. but still, i want a free something or other. oh well. then lots of shopping for groceries and such.

sunday i finally picked one of our watermelon. okay, it actually sort of got pulled up accidentally, but it was good, and sweet and had a nice texture. i went to a drawing session with a live model at the tattoo/art gallery downtown. it was a huge reminder that i need to brush up on my figure drawing. later, we got some chips and redbox movies, i love you, man and labor pains.

monday, august 31st...was scotty's day off, we went for a walk and then to jason's deli for supper.

well that's all i can remember of august. september shouldn't be too hard to remember, right???

some stuff about art

2009-08-31T10:34:00.006-04:00

so awhile ago i rearranged our room so that i would have a studio space. scotty sold his weight bench and it freed up a huge section of the room. yeehaw! since then i've been feeling more and more like letting those creative juices flow!! it really makes a difference having that space! now if i could just wrap my mind around doing the illustrations for ren's book. i'm getting there!! but i think it's that i'm not totally comfortable with doing landscapes and i know it needs them. i have all the ideas in my head, just need to work them out.

my space

my yummy caran d'ache oil pastels...and YES the quality of supplies MATTERS. i thought for years that i hated oil pastels. turned out it was because the ones i had were waxy, crappy and cheap. i never knew that they were the perfect medium for what i love doing!!

some fun on 4"x4" pieces of wood...left is oil pastel, right is chalk pastel...i was testing out sealers

detail of a work in progress with the oil pastels...

the finished piece

details of finished piece...did i mention i absolutely LOVE my oil pastels!!??

another work in progress. paint on fabric to be quilted. inspired by the cover of a quilting magazine quilting arts. i had to send my sewing machine out for repairs so i'm still waiting to get started with the quilting part. it's going to be an art piece not an actual quilt though. probably put it on a cloth bag or attach it to wood or something to put on the wall. not sure yet.

finished with the painting...

some detail...

i decided i wanted to paint on some more fabric...it is a very sensual feeling and i love it!! so i started another piece for quilting...
last night i went to a drawing "class" (it's actually a free, non-instructional gathering) at a local tattoo and contemporary art gallery. it's been over 15 years since i've drawn from a live model. it was scary and exciting at the same time. reminded me how rusty i am and how much i enjoy drawing the human body. i wasn't super thrilled with my quick sketches, but i did sort of like the ones where we had more time. when i first got there, i was super nervous. during the first 5-minute sketch i had the feeling like i wanted to leave (and puke)!! a voice in my head kept saying "you don't belong here" "you suck!" i had to tell it to shut the fuck up!! i only brought chalk with me for this one because i knew i wasn't interested in doing detail work...just wanted to rough in some figures. but i think next time i'll bring pencils as it was frustrating to even get a rough face or hand sketch with the chalk.

just thought i'd share a litte of my recent journey back to my artist self. now back to our regular programming...

OMG...another post...learn nothing day

2009-08-30T09:35:00.010-04:00

okay so friday, july 24th was learn nothing day and we met again at rock creek with friends for some food, fun, water, and NO LEARNING...NOT!!

i DID NOT get in the freezing cold water, but the kids did and they had a blast! mostly i hung out at the picnic tables eating and playing games.

one of the coolest things of the day was that ren saw a car with window marker on it that was about unschooling but didn't know who it was. when the car pulled back around to the picnic area, we swarmed them to find out who it was. turns out jana, jake, and josh were staying at the rock creek campground and thought the get together was the next day. they had just gotten there but i think they hadn't actually planned to come until later, so that was cool how it worked out. ren had met them at a conference recently so she introduced them to everyone. they ended up staying in the area for awhile and coming to several of our other get togethers and we made them official east tennesseans. in fact, they may be heading back this way for keepsies! hurrah!!

enjoy the picture show...

these kids rock, except samuel who never lets me get a good picture of him!!!!

sweet love...

true love...

sadie and sierra hang out in the back of ren's truck...wake up sadie!!

this is a little game we like to play called "attack the traaseths!"

oh, did i mention that jana has 2 unbelievably cute puppies!?

best friends!!

stop fighting you crazy kids!

that's jana!!!

gonna ketch us some fishies!

everyone hanging out...

these rest of these pictures (except the very last one) were taken by karina...i let her go nuts with my camera...i only shared a fraction of what she took, that girl is crazy with a lens!!!...

the "bonfire" that trevor kept stoking...i think he was trying to smoke us out!

say cheese ren!

sweet

4 little monkies sittin' on a bench...

playing rummikub!!! when i first saw this picture i thought abbi was holding a hot dog...LOL

even though alec wasn't feeling good, he still played games with us!!!

silas sporting sierra's jacket!

as the day was coming to a close...more games!! look even ren is playing...or is she just watching....hmmm????

as it was getting close to dark, we packed up all our stuff and headed to jana's campsite for a marshmallow roast!! it was an awesome day. in case i have never mentioned this before...i absolutely LOVE my friends. you guys make this life complete!!

the rest of our days that were unblogged

2009-08-28T10:10:00.028-04:00

okay, so i'm tired of starting each post with...yeah, i know it's been a long time since i posted blah blah blah!! so i guess that means i need to quit being so lazy and post something already...sheesh!!!

my blog used to be about my thoughts and feelings and ideas and family and friends. now it seems to be more a journal of days, what we've been doing and such. which i like because i have a dreadful memory and having a record of our days is comforting to my future forgetful self.

so we've been up to quite a lot in the last month and a half since i updated. so i'll just start where i left off...as usual =)

on saturday, july 12th, we went to my sister's house for my niece's 1st birthday.

lauren and beth

wes and samuel

beth gets her very own tiny birthday cake

oh yeah, she really got into that cake!!

the next day was my other niece's 18th birthday party!!

this is a sign we saw on the way to the party:

food and teenagers!!

i don't know what's going on here, was there music playing?? whatever it was, scotty sure is having a good time...LOL!!

the next day, sadie and i spent 5 hours cleaning and rearranging her room...it was awesome!! she really enjoys her room so much more when it's clean. i hate when people think kids shouldn't have any help with their rooms. i think that's just crazy. they said they won't learn responsibility, blah blah blah. whatever. i'd rather they learn that i love them enough to want them to have a space to enjoy. think about it, you wouldn't want them to learn to cook by never fixing meals for them. silly stuff that. anyway, i only have one picture i took that day. samuel was taking apart some headphones.wednesday, the 15th, was ren and bleu's 20th anniversary!! to celebrate they spent the day together in asheville, something they haven't got to do in forever. and we got to play with sierra and jalen!! it was a total lego day!!!

sadie and sierra playing with the red wagon

thursday was just a shopping and library sort of day i guess cuz that's all i can remember. and apparently we went to boone lake on friday because that's what it says on my calendar. omg, i have no idea!! wait, i remember that it was raining a little but we got in the water anyway and i did some cloudbursting and made them go away, it was still cold out though. and when i finally did get all the way under the water i came up and busted my face on the orange perimeter thingy. my teeth went into my lip and bruised it. in fact, i still have a hard knot in my lip from it. oh yeah, i also know samuel made a cool bracelet because there are pictures he took in my pictures file! isn't that sad? i really should update before i forget shit!!!

cool bracelet, eh? i helped him with those grommets after he realized just how hard you have to hammer to make it work =)

saturday was spent hanging out at home playing with some of the legos the traaseths passed on to us, the boys playing music in their room, AND in the bathroom dying everyone's hair...woo hoo!!

sadie was finally able to get her bottom drawer open (after the big 5 hour clean up) and find her barbies!! she had forgotten that she enjoyed them so much!

sunday, we went to see HARRY POTTER 6!!! we enjoyed it but couldn't help feeling like there was so much more they needed to put in it. i mean, that's a long ass book!! afterwards, we went for a walk at the park until it started to rain on us and then we rode around for awhile and scotty showed us where he would be working (which is the country club right next to the park we were walking at).

monday i woke up to the sound of the boys hanging out, they had not been to bed yet. oh man!! then we started getting ready for a visit from sadie's best friend in charleston, maggi!!

tuesday we met maggi's grandparents at the flag pond exit to pick up maggi. her brother, dakota, was with them and that was a really nice surprise. he has grown up so much, he turned 18 that week!! why are all the little kids i used to know turning 18 all of a sudden???

sadie waiting for maggi to arrive

this was such a cool moment!

later, we went to the lake because it was sooo hot!! i was working in the garden and they came out and said "it's hot, can we go to the lake?" at first i was not into it because it wasn't on the agenda (LOL) but i was pretty hot from being in the garden so i let myself be spontaneous it felt good to get in and splash around and then go lay on a towel and just read. i could've done without the bees and gnats though.

hey, that's the mean orange thing that busted my lip!!!

quesadillas!!!!
lego time!
wednesday the girls made some wild popsicles using juice and skittles

and played some bouncy ball on the porch...
and made chocolate chip shortbread cookies...

later that night, we had a little party to welcome taylor and karina back home from out west. we had lots of snacks and a cell phone cake!!

just talkin'...

and eatin'...

and watching a little SYTYCD...

some silly picture taking...

and sweetness...

and more silliness...

and scariness...

and some wild tickle wrestling...

and even more silly picture taking...

and talking on the giant couch...

and some kinda crazy floor snake game...

and cuteness on the stairs

thursday, we took maggi back to her grandma and mom and then came home. i did some laundry while we waited for the traaseths to get here. they ended up not coming until the next day though. in the meantime, there was imagination tribe...

well folks, i have been at this for hours and i'm still not up to the present moment in this journal of days. so you'll just have to wait until next time to get the rest of the good stuff...

catching up...

2009-07-17T12:34:00.000-04:00

so, yeah...3 weeks is a long time between posts. but i've been buuuuusy peoples!!!

okay, obviously these pictures are older but they are part of my "catching up". i took pictures of my garden 3 weeks ago after putting down straw mulch...

one of my watermelons...which has little melons growing on it now:
this is the back yard area where we put in the melon garden. you wouldn't believe how different it looks now! just the other day all the little plants were big enough for me to go do some thinning. it was like frikkin' sophie's choice out there!!! which to keep, which to pull up. but finally i got it down to a good amount per hill. and they are growing strong. see my compost cage in the background?? it's covered in morning glories and one little volunteer tomato plant sticking out the side that i still need to stake.
these are some apple or orange trees that were coming up in the garden that i couldn't stand to just throw out...so i put them in this pot to see if they would grow and they have.
this is a walnut tree i found growing in the garden (of course, it was much tinier than this then) and, again, i couldn't just toss it!! i'm thinking about finding some books on bonsai to see if i'm up to making this a mini tree. i have stopped saving all trees i find growing now...i ran out of pots!

one of my succulents from kelly:

okay, so last time i wrote, we were getting ready for a weekend of camping, swimming, and birthday celebrating! we went to the nolichucky river to hang out with friends and wish nesta a happy 14th birthday!!! we had a lot of fun!!! and the view ain't too shabby either:

riding the "rapids"...

grown up type people sunning...

searching for mica in the water...

BEFORE she decided that getting in the water fully dressed was better than baking in the sun...

i birthed a sierra...

ren leading a troop to ride the wild river...

coming back from a rock climbing expedition...

cake time!!!! happy birthday nesta!!

nesta got a new lizard!!!
sweet friends!!
this crowd is saying "hell no! we are not getting in that pond!"
this crowd is saying "oh hell yeah!!"

there was a lot of fun that night, movie watching, a camp fire. and then...a little walk in the dark to the pond to check out the frogs and sleeping salamanders. this resulted in the finding of two frogs mating and laying eggs on the surface of the water. we accidentally scared them and they jumped, splashing the eggs all over samuel's and sierra's legs!!!! lots and lots of screaming and laughing!!! samuel totally freaked, as you can imagine! i said the mating frogs looked like a slimy, giant, green vagina. aleah thought that was disrespectful to women!! ren thought it was funny and almost peed her pants during the whole episode!! okay, i almost did too. we also got scared of our flashlight reflections in the glass across the pond ("samuel, there are people over there...shhhh"...."oh wait, that's us"...more laughter). duncan declared it the best camp out ever!! this was mostly because of samuel having frog eggs splashed all over him!! they both went into the girls bathroom and when i found them, duncan was laughing his ass off and samuel and sierra had their legs in the shower spraying them off!! it was quite a sight!!

we left the campground sunday morning, tired and ready for some rest at home. duncan fell asleep on the couch pretty much as soon as we came in and slept until almost 5, samuel and sadie took a nap as well!!! tired, happy kids!! the best!!!

kelly and ben came to our house on monday and we all hung out for awhile before heading to atlanta bread company for supper. we picked up taylor and karina on the way and met ren and her kids there. we ended up staying way past closing but they were really nice to us anyway.

tuesday, we went to boone dam swimming area with kelly and ren. scotty and ben biked over. no one else from sofh showed up!! but we enjoyed the sun and a picnic while the kids enjoyed the water!! but i have no pictures =(

wednesday was all about quiet and home and watching star trek that had been sitting waiting for us all week while we were too busy to watch anything! and SYTYCD too...of course! and grocery shopping...it was pay day!!

thursday was a busy one...laundry, library AND we went to deanna's house to play (we even painted our toenails!!). then it was home to get ready for our big weekend trip to georgia!!

got up early friday morning to finish packing and then woke up the kids and headed out on the road! we got to the haworth's house just after the traaseths and just in time to EAT!! in case you didn't know, this is what unschoolers DO!!

shuck that corn ladies!
mindy in all her cuteness looking like she's on the food network
a few of the awesome kids...
fun with grapes!!!!!

more eating...

the next day was the 4th and we were heading to the falls for a hike, a swim and a picnic

almost all the kids
headed to the falls, over the swingin' bridge ya'll

that water is sooooome kinda cold!!!

heading back up...
a little break at an overlook...
the picnic shelter where we ate and played tag...

on the way back to the haworth's house, we stopped at DQ. this was an idea that alec and i cooked up on the way to the falls when we passed it. alec and few others got their DQ fix and then we headed to the fireworks store...where you can also get cold beer!! me thinks this is not such a good combination!! but i found some black snakes and i was happy!! then we went to check out another ice cream place that mindy had recommended but it was closed =(. soooo, we went and picked up ice cream at the store for those who had decided to skip DQ for the better local stuff (don't worry, we still shared it with those lucky DQ eatin' peeps). and then it was back to the house for more fun...a bonfire and backyard fireworks...yeehaw!! it was awesome!!!

just hangin' out before the night's festivities began...

did i mention food?

yeah for black snakes!!
abbi showing off some of her new moves that she learned from mindy...isn't she graceful?? look at those fingers!!
having fun with night time photography
mindy has a picture of me taking this picture on her blog...LOL

we had so much fun at the haworth's. i learned a new game, rummikub. and had the best room in the house!! went for wonderful walks and enjoyed the warm weather.

sunday morning we got up and started, very slowly, getting ready for our trip the the traaseths. alec and kyra rode with us and we had a really fun ride. we got there and took saddi for a walk down to the boat dock, it was really nice out and it felt good to stretch my legs...even though they were tired from all the walking and hiking the previous days. scotty finally got there around 8 or so. it is all becoming quite a blur now!! so here are some pix to fill in the gaps!!

LOTS of rock band was played...

this is how i found silas the next morning!!!...see the empty bed???...
MORE game playing!!
and a little hair dyeing
one of many awesome performances by abbi...

silas was always right there to listen to her play...
then the dads got into the wii action with some warioware...
the colorful ladies. i cut kelli's hair but you can't see it very well here...
AGAIN with the games...
and the rock band...

and the over doing it...
and YES, scotty finally gave in and played "fake" guitar!! this was his first time on any kind of instrument game. he had never even played our guitar hero at home because he said he would NEVER play those kinds of games...never say never is what i say!!!
sadielicious
on tuesday, wendy and shelby came over to hang out with us for a bit. we got wendy to play some games too!!!!

the kids were playing some kind of crazy game, i have no idea what...

finally, we packed up and headed home. happytiredhappy!!!

wednesday was another quiet, chill out day and watching SYTYCD. this seems to be all wednesdays are good for now =).

thursday was scotty's 40th birthday!! he didn't want any parties or anything special. that's just how the man is. but we love him anyway!! i didn't take any pictures that day but a few days later thought to take this one of the banner sadie made:

friday we went to MOTS with ren and her crew. we only halfway listen to the music when we go to these things. mostly we hang out on the big blanket and talk. it was really nice to just relax awhile!

saturday, scotty helped me cut my hair!! i had been wanting to do this for awhile so i finally got around to it. well folks, there is more to add but this was the latest i had gotten to when i first started the draft of this a few days ago. i'll get to the more recent stuff real soon...i promise.

a long, wonderful week...

2009-06-26T09:09:00.015-04:00

has it really been so long since i last updated my blog?? sheesh, time is flying like you wouldn't believe lately!! so anyway...

last thursday (the 18th) we were just hanging out at home, just minding our own business, when the electricity went out...AGAIN!! these storms are starting to be a pain in the ass!! have you seen all the downed trees???? i said to the kids, "let's get outta here!" and so we did. we went to the post office, taco bell, and the library. while at taco bell, i heard the strangest thing...morrissey! on taco bell's speakers!! freaky!

on friday morning, taylor came over to hang with us for the day. all the kids were still in bed so we talked for awhile on the porch while i tried to also do some cool puzzles from a book i got at the library. finally, i had to get the kids up to get ready so we could head to princeton arts center for our sweet friend iris' graduation from babysitting camp! it was just a small gathering, but iris really wanted sadie to be there! afterwards, we went to dairy queen where i consumed more ice cream than should be legal...i had my big ol' dipped cone and then i finished off audrey's cone AND sadie's blizzard!!! iris came home with us to hang out for awhile before we had to give her back. the girls decided they wanted to splatter paint, so they went outside and painted and listened to music. at some point they thought painting rocks for the driveway would be cool too, then they took to just throwing paint directly ON the driveway. THEN, they figured out that grass could also be painted...that's when the real fun began! all this while i worked on laundry...it was sunny enough that i was actually able to get 4 out of 6 loads of laundry dried on the clothesline!! yeah, that's a lot of laundry, normally i only have 4 loads, but it being so nice out i decided to also do a comforter and all the sheets!!!

saturday was a DO NOTHING DAY!! which actually just means that we didn't go anywhere or have anyone over! what i DID do was finally sucker my tomatoes, mulch the tomatoes and cucumbers, and made granola, then i watched star trek...all this while the kids were still in bed. then later i went and worked on a new painting!! samuel took these:

sunday was father's day so we went to my parents' house to hang out with family for awhile. scotty had to work...yes even on father's day!! we are so lucky to have such a super daddy who does so much to provide for us!! then we went to ren's house for a little solstice celebration and even though scotty was home in time to go to this, he was just toooo tired and so decided to stay home (he did work 18 hours on saturday after all!). we ate lots of good food and hung out with our friends enjoying a beautiful day inside the house and out (where i was chased by a wasp!!) as it got darker, a fire was built and marshmallows were roasted! what a great way to "officially" start summer!! i can't believe i took NO pictures!!!

monday morning i woke to the sound of talking and laughing coming up through the bathroom floor. it just made me smile. my boys had apparently not been to bed yet and were in their room having fun together. turns out they were cleaning their room and making videos, then they cleaned out the guinea pig cage!! i never even asked them to do any of this. i know they wanted things nice for when duncan came, but i hadn't expected this!

i got a little bit more done on my painting... and worked i tiny bit on another project too...
this is the original drawing for that painting. it is something i worked up for my friend susan back in february (i think) for a calendar she is working on...
tuesday morning i worked in the garden a little and got some papers ready to mail for NBTSC. i picked some cilantro and my first small batch of green beans. i planted 6 times more cilantro and 2 times more beans than last year. i'm so glad i did, really looking forward to having more of each!
then i got the kids up and we headed to asheville to meet with kelly, kelli, and alice (and their kiddos of course!). scotty came with us too!!! we were meeting to pick up duncan to stay with us while ben and kelly are on the blue ridge parkway this week. after hanging out at earth fare for awhile, we headed to the asheville arboretum, they have an amazing bonsai garden there!! but it was pretty hot and the kids were melting down (what few we still had with us...my 3 plus duncan...as rachel and jake had already left to go home with the traaseths) so we headed back to alice's house for a cook out, great conversation, and playing bananagrams. then it was back to jc where i immediately headed upstairs to lay in bed and read (i always say i'm not going to sleep, i'm just going to read and then i fall asleep...so now when i say i'm going up to read the kids say "oh you mean you're going to sleep, good night"). scotty came up and we talked awhile before we both fell asleep...it was a long, wonderful day!! and again, i did not get very many pictures...just the ride there!!

i had taken a self-portrait and it was very boring, i turned around and something sadie was doing made me laugh so i quickly snapped another one and it was much better, more real!

wednesday, i had the pleasure of a long morning walk with my friend deanna! when we got back, scotty went for a bike ride. after the kids got up, i made salsa...i had to wait because the vita-mix is so noisy!! i used cilantro from the garden...yummmmy!!! it was one of those do nothing days again so we could recover from the previous day. the kids had a lot of fun playing games since duncan brought his xbox 360 with him!!

thursday i had planned on having another walk so i could get back into the habit, but i decided to work on my new art blog instead. i moved it from blogdrive to blogger...no ads, unlimited pictures!! taylor and karina came over to spend the day with us and we were all talking and laughing on the porch and woke up duncan. so we all came in and woke everyone else up too!! while all the kids hung out, i played around on the computer and then made some food to have ready to take for our imagination tribe gathering later.

i tried to capture some of the laughter and conversation but, wouldn't you know, as soon as i got out the camera...silence!!!

then sadie let me play with face paints on her...she was wonderfully patient!! she liked it so much she decided to keep it on for the rest of the day! silas took this first picture...

like that cool hat?? the gavins brought it over for him!!

finally, we headed to susan's place for the IT gathering...we had a blast making art, eating food, and talking. the kids had fun running all over the yard and meeting a couple of new friends!! oh, on the way there, karina got a message from 2 different friends telling her that michael jackson had died!! too sad!! so that was talked about quite a bit...me and susan even sang "i'll be there"...but couldn't remember all the words. and it seems i have become too lazy to keep up with my camera when we go anywhere so, again, there are no pix!!

early this morning, scotty and i took a really nice walk around the neighborhood...while all the kids were still in bed!! the rest of today looks like this...a little bit of garden work, laundry, and making food for the camp out on the river tomorrow for NESTA FEST!!

calvin & hobbes and unschooling

2009-06-19T08:50:00.008-04:00

for anyone who has ever asked these questions: what IS unschooling, really? but if you don't MAKE them learn, how will they? do you unschool in the summer?? or said things like: kids can't learn without structure or curriculum. if you don't make them read every day, they won't learn to read by the right age!! i don't see how following their interests can lead to learning all the right subjects!!

to which i give you...calvin & hobbes...

life, life, and life

2009-06-17T10:05:00.014-04:00

so, last i left off we had been tilling. you might be wondering "what for?" well, i decided a few weeks ago that instead of saying "one day, when we have our own land, i'd really like to have a u-pick fruit farm" i should go ahead and use what land we do have in our backyard to start learning how to do it NOW. so we've got it started, several watermelon plants already in that i transplanted out of my sfg so they might actually thrive this year. going to plant more seeds tomorrow if there isn't another downpour.

we went to ren's house last wednesday to just hang out for awhile, eat, and catch up, something we haven't done in what feels like ages!! we picked up ice cream on the way home and got there in time to watch so you think you can dance. days don't get too much better than that...or do they?

thursday we went to the library and met up with jess, tyler, and aleah to watch a very cool shadow puppet show by hobey ford. the boys weren't interested so they hung out in the library while we went into the activity room for the show.
afterwards, we went to jess' house to hang out, eat, and catch up (seems like a theme lately). samuel and tyler worked on a cybug creature together while jess showed me her new landscaping and sfg space which is totally cool! sadie and silas played with aleah and had a mini-concert with the keyboard which made me and jess twitch a bit as we've both heard the demo songs more times than we'd like to count. we headed home only to find it dark when we got there. the electricity was out due to the storm that had been going on and off all day. i said to the kids, "well, we'd better eat this ice cream before it melts!!" no arguments there, so we sat on the porch where there was more light than in the house and ate ice cream and talked. suddenly the lights came on and we went in to escape the skeeters and watch the elimination episode of SYTYCD. we only missed 20 minutes of it!!

on friday, i "finished" the pastel/painting i'd been working on and hung it up... just in time for the traaseth's arrival!! lots of hugs and kisses later, we headed to the gavin's house to ride together to downtown jonesborough for music on the square where we met up with the allens, wechgelaers, and chittums. we hung out on "the blanket" and were a little too loud for the people around us (sorry!!).

then it was back to our house for a little pizza and conversation...

we had a huge 2 night sleepover and general beautifulness with friends...

on sunday, abbi did a little make up...

these kids are all just so great together! scotty said to me "they have no personal space" and i said "yeah, but in a good way!" and that was exactly how he meant it!! it is sooo cool to see them just BE with each other. they sit practically on top of each other and hug all the time.

after everyone went home on sunday, i decompressed a little by reading and falling asleep for about 15 minutes when scotty got home and we decided to get a movie. we watched he's just not that into you which was a pretty decent movie, i guess.

on monday, i FINALLY sent in the "grades" for homeschooling and re-enrolled the kids for the next year. that is always so much less work than i imagine it will be and i end up wondering "why did i put that off until the last possible second??" then i worked in the garden!! i added peat moss to my little hills and transplanted the watermelon plants to what we refer to as "the back 40." then i picked what is probably the last of the early summer spinach and lettuce. these bowls are much larger than they look in this picture...so, yeah, LOTS of green yummies!!

we got a couple more movies and i fell asleep watching gran torino so i finished watching it on tuesday afternoon (it is an excellent movie, btw). then deanna came by and picked up sadie so she could hang out with them for awhile. scotty and i took the tiller back to ren and bleu, picked up 2 straw bales at lowe's, returned a defective bike pump to wal-mart, stopped at auto zone to get a new vacuum valve for the jeep, put it on and then headed home to get ready to go to deanna's house for supper. we enjoyed a long evening of good food and friends (but not necessarily in that order!), came home and i went straight to bed!!

this morning is all about rain and more rain. so i paid some bills online, played on facebook (aka facesuck), and finally decided i should do a blog post. voila!!!

we'll probably watch star trek: enterprise later when the kids are up and then i will work on some illustrations i started for ren's book...yep, i finally started on them!!

for scotty

2009-06-12T09:23:00.001-04:00

"The Luckiest" by Ben Folds

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

i am an island...or am i?

2009-06-10T09:31:00.016-04:00

years and years ago, i very neatly closed myself off from the rest of the world. i found it a much safer place to be, the cocoon of just my husband and kids. every once in awhile i would meet someone that spoke to my heart and i would let them in. sometimes this worked out, sometimes it didn't. but it started the opening. occasionally it would also close me right back up and convince me that my original path was the best for me. i was sure i didn't know how to do this friendship thing. and i was okay with that. i thought i didn't need anyone. then we moved back to tennessee and i renewed some old friendships and found some new ones. it's been a wild ride. and i thought i was done with my old ways of shutting down and shutting out. but the last 9 months have reminded me that i am still not really any different than i was before. i find these waters still near impossible to navigate. i find myself wanting to check out again. keeping only a tiny fistful of people in my life, letting go of all the rest. i feel the old anxieties coming back. the physical tightness and uncertainty. i'm feeling it right now. i guess that's why i'm writing this. maybe if i get it outside of my head it will help. i don't know. i just don't know.

i did some art yesterday...for the first time in forever i actually felt like it. i ended up not really liking what i'd done. but today, i'm going to do more of it anyway. i also worked in the newly tilled area in our backyard yesterday and felt completely inadequate for the task i want to undertake. but today, i'm going to do more of it anyway.

work in progress

scotty tilling the back yard. there are no pix of me doing this because i did not do any of this. i am simply the cleaner upper...hauling all the grass and weed clumps a zillion times up and down the yard and then mixing in some compost and such when i'm done.

what else have we been doing?:

picking strawberries

my niece, alisha, graduated so we spent a long weekend with family just hanging out...
samuel sewing wesley's pants for him...with red thread (or was it pink?) in the crotch, nice!
my mom and dad
beth with everyone

camping...at carden's bluff on watauga lake. i put up the tent before scotty got there! he left the house on his bike before us and got there later. the view from our site
oooh it's cooold
scotty was so hot from his ride that he jumped right in with his riding clothes on...get cooled off and wash your sweaty clothes all at once!!
sadie washing dishes
the boys swam to this cool little cove under the edge of the cliff
me and scotty at the swimming area (shook branch) where we did not go again after sadie realized she was brave enough to swim in the deep water by our site
me and my girl
the boys spent hours swimming with huge fallen trees...what a work out!!
roasting veggie dogs...oh my stomach!!

and other stuff...

spinach and lettuce

one of the volunteer tomatoes looking happy

my bush beans (they have buds since this was taken)

a handful of wild berries

and finally, my clean desk (well, it's got stuff on it now because i'm USING it, there is no before picture because that would be too embarrassing)

we also went to asheville last week (the day after camping!) to spend some time with alice, rachel, & jake. we went to the free day at the museum!! and then spent the night! we had a great time with them, of course!! oh yeah, we took sierra, karina, and taylor with us too!!

saturday we went to the blue plum festival. we had a few extra kids, sierra and jalen, that i dragged around with us for hours, watched the animation festival and then killed time drinking slushees and looking at arts and crafts, playing on church walls and playgrounds, playing cornhole (yes that is really what it's called!), and meandering around downtown exploring...just waiting for CUTTHROAT SHAMROCK to start playing! ren met up with us during the concert and we danced, danced, danced. then she took us out to eat at burger king. awesome day!

my dad came over on sunday and fixed the kitchen sink AND the bathroom sink! it was actually quite satisfying to finally get it done and to help a little too =). thanks dad!!!

then there was the tilling and desk cleaning on monday...full circle. the end.

back to the garden

2009-05-31T09:00:00.006-04:00

well, it's that time of year again when i spend a lot of time in the garden. some days i go out several times just to look at it! i love it so much! we have bigger plans for next month but for now, it's starting to feed us little by little and that is an amazing thing. ALL of my tomato plants this year are volunteers!! AND all but one of my watermelons as well!! here are some pix, of course everything is about twice as big since these were taken:

lettuce and spinach patch

strawberries

cucumbers

volunteer tomato plant

volunteer watermelon plant

blueberry bush

L to R: watermelons, one of the two broccoli survivors in the back, bush beans, radishes (most of which are already eaten now), cucumbers

lettuce, spinach, and strawberries

radishes

strawberries, again!

snapshots of a happy life

2009-05-19T09:41:00.008-04:00

a once-quiet life

2009-05-10T08:36:00.011-04:00

okay, so i owe the blog world this post. i promise that i have really not abandoned my blog in favor of facebook no matter what anyone says!!! =)

i wanted to just catch up our last few weeks of fun and friendship. i last left off with a birthday party on april 25th. so let's see where we've been and what we've done since then...

the following monday, we took a quiet little family trip out to the laurels. scotty had forgotten how to get there and so we drove around for quite some time and nearly went to roan mountain. silas got car sick. we stopped long enough for him to feel better and for scotty to get reoriented and took a vote to see if everyone still wanted to try to find the place. they did and so we hit the road again and took the old reliable way he knew from way back instead of the "new" way he had just tried (not that we didn't enjoy the ride to "nowhere", we got to see new places and enjoy the beautiful day). we finally got there and pulled out our picnic stuff. hungry hungry hungry were we. the little creek is still nice and they have great picnic spots. it was relaxing to just hang out under the trees and enjoy being outside without freezing after such a long winter. there were a few stray dogs the kids played with and some people who left a bunch of trash in the creek that i picked up (the trash, not the people), the bathrooms were gross as many mountain park bathrooms can be, but they were usable. we only stayed a few hours before heading home all tired and happy (we seem to end a lot of days that way).

tuesday was an sofh picnic at the park day. we went to festival plaza at winged deer for some sunshine and playing in the water. and getting sunburned!!! nearly 2 weeks later, i'm still itching and my nose is just about healed! lots of our friends were there to talk and play with all afternoon. scotty even came out to play with us for awhile before heading home to meet up with bleu for a bike ride. i think we found our way home around 5ish where i found bleu and scotty all sweaty on the porch!! later, i cooked up some homemade pizzas for supper and then we got ready to watch fringe. just after it started, austin and the kids showed up to say hi. everyone was excited and jumpy! i love these mini-reunions when taylor and karina come back to town after being gone for a month. we all watched fringe together and talked during the short commercial breaks. it was the funniest thing shooshing each other during the show, trying to contain a month's worth of stories and then when the breaks came i said "okay, go!!" and everyone started chattering and catching up. too funny!!

wednesday was sierra star's 12th birthday!! let's just say we spent the day on a total sugar high!!! she had a cotton candy machine and a slushy machine going!! by the time we sang happy birthday and cut the cake, we had several kids simply not interested in cake and ice cream! they were actually standing next to the stove watching the timer for the rice and bean bake ren had put in for supper...while their cake sat uneaten. it was hilarious!! ren said..."hey you kids, no food until you eat your cake!!" they just looked at her with sugar-glazed eyes and asked "when will the food be done!?" but don't they know that if you let kids make their own choices they'll always choose sugar and junk food...didn't these kids get the memo on that one!!!?? it was a long, long day that also included sparklers!! so what more can you ask for?? oh i'm sure i've forgotten something...so just enjoy the slideshow!

on thursday, i finally hosted my first imagination tribe gathering!! we had so much fun...with friends, food, and art, how can you NOT?? beth brought blown out eggs at austin's request, deanna brought sticks to decorate so that when we beat each other with them, they might at least be spectacular looking! what a night!

friday i did some much needed gardening and getting ready for the big birthday party on monday. also trying not to spaz about what the house looks like as we are having lots of guests in from out of town. i've been noticing lots of volunteers in the garden, watermelon and jalapenos seem to be everywhere as well as some possibly tomato looking ones as well that i'm leaving alone until i know for sure.

friday was also "first friday", which is a monthly art and music festival downtown where they close off the streets and let the fun begin!! may is the best because the weather is just right!! we met up with friends and had a great time dancing in the streets, singing out loud, looking at art, and sampling some good food. the band playing outside the bead shop was amazing...they had a funky surfer slide sound that was all jam!! could NOT stop dancing!! if anyone can remember their name, let me know!!

saturday was all about making cake, cleaning, and getting things ready for the party. in the midst of all this, i took samuel and silas to the comic shop for "free comic book day" where samuel was a guest artist AND he sold 5 of his comics!! they had a lot of fun hanging out and meeting some other artists and comic book fans. sadie and i went grocery shopping while they were there and when we picked them up, we got our free comics too!! it was very cool!!

sunday was for finishing up any loose ends for the party and welcoming mindy and kelly to our home! we pretty much hung out in the kitchen all afternoon talking and making sure kids were fed. it was really nice to have NEW people here!

monday was party day!!! it is really a blur at this point but i'll tell you we had a lot of people (58 was the final count) at austin's house to celebrate the birthdays of 5 special kids - samuel, karina, sierra, kyra, & sadie (who are the ones responsible for coming up with this idea of a combined birthday btw, bless them)!! the day started out with getting kids awake, making kabetori, and finishing up sadie's cake. then the traaseths, allens, & finally the aycocks got here and after awhile it was just a matter of getting us all to austin's in one piece and having a great time. almost all the kids stayed at austin's house for a sleepover. scotty and alice stayed as the chaperones while everyone else went safely back home or to hotel rooms. not a lot of sleep happened...until the next day!

on tuesday, i woke up to find a cardinal nest outside our kitchen window, it's been cool to watch the momma on her nest and the daddy come feed her sometimes (i remember when scotty fed me while i was nursing). anyway, we had lots of back and forth between our house and austin's that afternoon, saying our goodbyes and hanging out and eating and getting ready for sadie's sleepover. in the midst of the after-party glow, kelly bought one of my paintings and scotty went to fetch it for her before she headed back to columbia. thank you kelly, you made my day!! there were tons of kids at the house all evening but only a handful (iris, audrey, and karina) decided to stay for the actual sleeping part (and the watching of fringe, of course!). most of them stayed up almost all night, but in the morning everyone was able to scream "happy birthday" to sadie!!

on wednesday, sierra, taylor and the traaseths rejoined the party and hung out for awhile until it was time for the traaseths to head back to georgia! after some sad goodbyes, i took samuel, silas, sadie, sierra, karina, and taylor out shopping because we had some serious holes burning in some birthday pockets! samuel got a great deal on guitar hero 3 for the wii and a used guitar. he was super excited! that was my first day playing any of these types of games. and i did it right there for the whole world to see me at best buy!! we sort of all took over that section of the store while a storm brewed outside. we braved the rain to run to the car and headed over to target where sadie eventually decided to save her money for another day. the rest of the day was all about playing guitar hero!!

thursday was samuel's birthday as well as the sofh hang out day. everyone was tired but said they wanted to get up and go and so we did. but because of the tiredness we only stayed a few hours before leaving and doing some quick grocery shopping. colin came over later and barb and i got to hang out for a bit talking...just a little quiet, mom-bonding time. later we had a really enjoyable summer supper on the porch. oh yeah, then we watched bones and played more guitar hero!!

friday was pretty quiet, laundry, a little shopping and library and then home again in time to get clothes off the line before some rain came. sheeew!! mostly a day of just hanging out...and yeah more guitar hero...while i worked on some art in my room, finally!!!

saturday (yesterday!) karina and taylor came over and hung out while i worked on making cakes for our family birthday/mother's day get together that evening. we went to my sister paula's house around 5 and had a cookout and gift exchange and cake and playing MORE guitar hero! a little after 9, me, paula, diana, & doug went to the kitchen to play a fun card game that i can't remember the name of now, 9 holes or something. by the time we were done it was going on 11 and the kids and i headed home. i was ready for bed, so sadie and i went upstairs and read a little before falling asleep. the end!!! well sort of...there's still tonight, but that will have to blogged about later =)

silliness continued

2009-05-07T10:08:00.005-04:00

okay so i told you about our silliness here: random silliness!!

i finally got the pictures we took off the laptop and thought i'd share them. i have a ginormous post i need to do of all our adventures this past week...but i'll get to that later =)

random silliness

2009-04-30T09:20:00.006-04:00

who doesn't love a funhouse mirror??? but the best part is in watching OTHER people love the funhouse mirror...right?? especially when you're at the park and you become totally unaware of how loud you're laughing and how silly you look to people who have no idea you're looking in a mirror!! we bust a gut just laughing at ourselves playing with funny mirrors.

these first few images are of us last year at the park...totally cracked up for at least 30 minutes straight playing with the mirrors!!
we recently discovered some fun software for our webcam that makes mirror funnies seem only mildly amusing.

samuel took the picture and video below of me, sadie, and silas being totally silly with the webcam software. i laughed so hard i felt like i'd had a face and ab workout! scotty came home from work while we were doing this and the look he gave us was priceless, too bad we didn't get THAT! enjoy!!

another update on what we've been up to

2009-04-27T08:06:00.001-04:00

once again i have put off blogging for awhile...damn facebook is just so much easier for updating and so addictive! so what have we been doing?...

well, i've been getting the garden going again...it's looking good (even with my failed attempts at transplanting, i feel good about what i've learned from it) with the radishes, lettuce, and spinach coming in. as well as the oregano, thyme, and strawberries from last year filling out again. i've made a lot of changes in how the garden is organized this year. one thing i decided was that i would not try to do corn again (not this year anyway)...it just takes up too much space in square foot gardening. also, i let the strawberries take over one of the 4x4 areas...it was intent on doing it anyway so i just let it. so hoping for lots more strawberries this year. right now they are covered with flowers with little green strawberries popping out the centers. i'm putting in more tomatoes this year too. i started them from seeds saved years ago from an organic heirloom tomato. we'll see how well they continue to grow and if they transplant well, fingers crossed!!

garden pix (most of these were taken 2 weeks ago)

sometimes about all i can do is rely on my pictures to help me remember what all we've done lately and lately i haven't been taking so many pictures....sooooo, i'm having to really think!!

we spent easter with family and friends, lots of good food and easter eggs!! my mom went all out with making special homemade treats for the kids. all of my sisters were there too! it's been since christmas that we were all together. we went to ren's house later for more food and fun. the kids decorated eggs and had an egg hunt where they found lots of plastic eggs filled with candy!! we were really glad for the beautiful day!

easter 2009 pix:

we had a blast at the sofh talent show this year! silas and colin did a little skit, while samuel showed everyone how he uses his drawing software. there was a lot of talent to go around!! as you'll see in the pix slideshow =). after everyone had shared their skills, we went outside for some fun in the sun on the playground.

sofh talent show pix:

the next day, jess calls and asks if we want to go up the mountain and the kids can ride in the back of the truck...and i said "when they get up, i'll ask 'em, but i sure want to go." and so did the kids!! a lot of the flowers were just starting to come out and it was sunny and green. the kids really enjoyed getting bumped around in the back of the truck. jess is some kinda wild drivin' woman! we stopped at one spot and found a really beautiful falls that we climbed all over. we had a really amazing day!

mountaintop pix:

last monday, the kids got a really great surprise from our friends, the traaseths. they got an early birthday present that was just exactly the amount needed to get a new 500 G hard drive for our computer. this computer was given to us by some friends back in 2004, it had an 18 G hard drive then and it was fine for a very long time, but we updated it last fall with an 80 G drive (which my brother-in-law, doug, found and gave to us for free...and installed it too, of course) so we could finally have enough memory to run WoW (which samuel bought with the money he made selling his comic at L&L). but with the most recent WoW patch, we did not even have enough memory to open it to play anymore. this came the day after i renewed their subscription and they couldn't even play!! they were so bummed. so when kelly said she'd like to give them an early gift of being able to get the hard drive we were saving for, it was a welcome surprise!! we had it ordered, received, and installed all by wednesday night (thanks a million doug!). the kids are happily leveling up again!! and i'm getting fringe benefits of a faster computer too, especially when uploading pix to flickr!!! thanks guys!!

wednesday afternoon the kids and i went driving around. we were on lots of windy roads and silas became car sick, as he often does. he could not wait until we got home to stop, so we pulled into the gray fossil museum. we had been wanting to go there for some time but have just never gone out there. i'm glad we finally did. it is a very, very cool place to visit...and that was just the free part that we went to. basically, a few years back they were working on putting a road through and came upon these fossils. the find was so extraordinary that all work on the road was rerouted so they could preserve the site, continue to dig, and a museum was erected. what they found there was so amazing, a miocene site with fossils that date back over 4 million years with an entire ecosystem of plants and animals...even the extinct red panda that shouldn't even be found in north america...which proves the theories about giant connected land masses from europe and asia. it turned out to be a really cool day!

gray fossil museum pix (i took these with my phone)

we've been watching a lot of movies every monday with the redbox free movies on monday SMS messages. here are just a few that we've seen lately, seven pounds, the secret life of bees, marley & me, bottle shock, the water horse, henry poole is here, & slumdog millionaire. that's all i can think of right now. the code lets you get a free movie every monday. you can pass it around to all your friends and they can get free movies too. one thing we figured out is that you can get more than one movie by simply using a different debit or credit card when "paying". it means you have to pick a movie, put in the code, and check out for each movie. basically you can't just fill up your cart with movies and get them all free, you have to do a different transaction for each one using a different card. make sense? we usually only get 3 movies since we generally don't have time to watch them all before they have to be back the next day before 9 pm. if you keep them longer than 1 day, you will automatically be charged $1 each. which still isn't a bad deal...we've only had to take them back later a few times. still, $3 for 3 movies for 2 days is a bargain. oh yeah, we've also been watching "freaks & geeks" from netflix.

we went to ren's house thursday night just for a casual hanging out and eating. it was really nice to just relax and talk...and did i mention eating??? yeah, that too! didn't take my camera, but it was a nice day for it if i had. the kids spent a lot of time on the trampoline (as usual) and hanging out with jared (not so usual) who gave the boys lots of tips on WoW and other cool gaming sites. went home tired and happy.

friday i spent cleaning!! it was sooo needed! i did laundry (used the clothesline again after a long winter's break), cleaned the bathrooms, swept and vacuumed, took a bunch of recycling to the drop off site behind kroger's, and made 2 big pots of lentil soup. as i was finishing the upstairs bathroom, "ghost whisperer" came on and i asked the kids to turn it up so i could here it. when i came down i sat and watched it with the kids. we just started watching this again after trying when it first came out and it was too scary for sadie. while we were watching it, sadie asked if i would call daddy and ask him to bring home some ice cream. i told her he would probably like the surprise of her calling him instead of me. so she did and it was really cute listening to her talk on the phone with him. her voice just totally changes. it's too sweet. so he brought home ice cream AND some movies he'd borrowed from a friend at work, van helsing, and 50 first dates. both of which we'd seen before but it was a nice surprise still. i fell asleep within the first half hour of van helsing (not an unusual occurrence actually). so i went up to bed and fell right back to sleep...only to get woken up a few hours later by people screaming on the corner. it was 3 am people!!

saturday, we went to perry's for guthrie's 9th birthday party! it was an all day super delicious celebration! there was lots of jumping on the trampoline, water gun and balloon fights, snacks, and cake & ice cream early in the day. then later we had more food AND music!! we also celebrated doug's (not my BIL) birthday which was the next day, he got a plate of cookies, but he shared them! it was a wonderful day...lots of playing, hiking, eating, and singing (and listening to others play guitar). got in about 1 am...slept hard. got up in the morning to water the garden...

party pix:

lately...

2009-04-11T11:50:00.003-04:00

well, we finally kicked all the butts of all the cruds we'd been passing around here the past few months!! bye bye cruds!! so after that we had some fun!!

on the 1st, we went to my parents' house for a combined birthday party for me and my little sister, paula. it was a beautiful day and i was super hyper from all the wonderful sunshine. we had vegetarian taco salad and ice cream cake, YUM!! and talked and laughed and had a really good time. i made a watercolor card for my sister and she gave me "nightmare before christmas" socks and a shirt. my parents got me some hemp cording and wood and glass beads (which i used for the first time the other day to make some chokers for some friends in oregon). then there was more hanging out and talking. we went home happy and tired.

the next day we had our sofh homeschooling group at the park, it was another sunny day but a little on the windy side (jess had the sense to bring kites!!). it's always really nice to just sit and talk with these friends while all the kids play.

on the 3rd, we went to columbia for an amy steinberg house concert at the lovejoy's "opulent 'possum" and had a totally wonderful time!! it's always good to see amy AND get together with our friends from all over. we spent the night, although some of us didn't get a lot of sleep for staying up late playing bananagrams and talking!! silas never even went to bed! the next day, amy picked out a vietnamese restaurant to go to for lunch and i decided to go with them (which surprised even me!). i had a really great time talking and laughing with all these fabulous people...and the vegetarian pho ("fa") wasn't too bad either!! we came back to the house and kelli, jan (tim's mom), and i went to pick up a cake to surprise austin for his birthday which was the next day. when all the men came back from golfing, we all sang happy birthday to him, it was loud and beautiful and his smile was a mile wide =). after cake and packing up, i decided to leave a little earlier than planned as silas was suddenly falling asleep on the floor and i did not want to have to try to wake him up once he got all the way into it. so we headed home and it was a nice quiet ride as all the kids drifted off into sweet dreams...filled, i'm sure, with friends, laughter, and amy's awesome voice singing "it's a wiiiiide skyyy life..."

we spent a few days just quietly recovering from the weekend, watching it snow, and hoping for nicer weather...and finally, yesterday, it came!! the kids and i went to the park and played for awhile until the wind got a little too chilly for me. i surprised the kids with a trip to dairy queen which we hadn't had in a long time. samuel started having a migraine on the way home and i helped him kick its butt with some herbs and he was fine...no "turn off the lights!" or "be quiet!" and especially no puking, it was great, i gave him a cayenne tincture and a nerve tonic and it really does work folks!! later, ren, sierra, jalen, and austin came over for supper and some catching up and casual hanging out. it was a pretty good day.

surprise party

2009-03-30T09:02:00.025-04:00

about a month ago, i got a call from austin telling me to mark a date on my calendar for a potluck the kids want to have at his house, and that he wants me to invite a bunch of my friends too (if he weren't already so weird this request might've seemed odd). um, okay, done, it's on the calendar, talk to you later. several weeks later he reminds me to invite people because i haven't yet. oops. so i send out a quick email to let people know about this potluck. done.

the date rolls around and i'm really not feeling up to it. BUT i promised, so i spend all day cooking and getting food ready to take. scotty comes home and we watch a movie and rest awhile before it's time to go. i tell everyone i'm not sure if i feel like going and that maybe they could go without me. but i decide to go anyway. hell, a party without me, ain't gonna happen!!!! right??

as we get near the house i see all these cars! we were a few minutes early and NOBODY gets to a party before me, what the hell?!

we pull up to their house and i see kyra on the porch, what?? she runs inside and i think, oh this is a surprise for the kids, they don't know she's here. ha ha, very cool!! i turn around in the car to see if they've seen her and they have and they said they knew she was going to be here. i find it quite odd that everyone knew but me that kyra was here. no one tells me ANYTHING!!! anyway...

we walk up to the house and all these kids are pouring out the door and so excited to see us (cool, we have such great friends!!) samuel is snapping pictures (hey you brought the camera thanks!!) we walk in the door and i see a BIG happy birthday balloon (cool, it's someone's birthday!! hey maybe the balloon is for me because my birthday is next week, cool!!)BUT THEN, i get to the top of the steps going into the living room and i see and hear all our friends shouting "surprise!!" oh my gosh, this is a party FOR ME?? trying so hard not to cry i ask scotty if he knew about this and he says "i planned this!" i am filled with love and happiness and cannot stop the tears that come.!!scotty also managed to smuggle a cake over to austin's prior to the party and it was a beautiful cake!! so fancy!! he even borrowed an 80s cd from a friend that we played all night over and over again with a little music mixed in from austin's and rachel's ipods as well. we had so much fun jumping around and dancing. there was even a conga line!(my giant birthday card made by ren and signed by everyone!)

towards the end of the night, they put me on a stool in the middle of the room and everyone circled around me to tell me all these wonderful things they love about me. it was really amazing! the love in the room was almost overwhelming.the kids wanted to spend the night, so we ALL just stayed!! i think we went to bed around 4 am. the next day we went to ren's house to hang out and enjoy the tease of a spring-like day and share the flu!
so i got a surprise birthday party, something i don't think i've ever had before, and it was the best day ever!!

more pix slideshow:

spring 2009 ARGH

2009-03-24T11:51:00.004-04:00

i should really be in bed...really...i'm sick, again, and really need to rest but i can't seem to make myself do it. i have so much to blog about and i don't want to get behind because then i will never ever get to it. so here goes:

the spring ARGH was amazing!! we went to roan mountain again and had the best time! there was a lot of reconnecting with friends and making new connections; kids screaming and running to greet each new arrival...and it brought tears to my eyes seeing how happy they are with this group of people that have become the core of our unschooling world of friends. what did we do all weekend? well, there was a lot of simply hanging out really. that's what is so wonderful about these gatherings, no pressure to attend a lot of activities (unless you want to). it's very laid back and relaxed. sometimes i might find myself in a cabin playing bananagrams with several other people (while trying not to fall asleep). or walking from cabin to cabin bringing snacks to hungry kids. or driving to the conference center to check out what activities were going on over there and talking and laughing and um, well, hanging out. like i said, that is really the essence of this gathering, "just" hanging out!! there were tons of nerf wars going on at almost any given time, movie watching in the old restaurant building, ATC making in ren's cabin, henna at the conference center, video games at the hangout cabin, tea parties, game parties, dress up parties, just about anything if someone was willing to host it. there was also a delicious potluck followed by a fantastic talent show...what more could you ask for??

we went away with a happy feeling after saying our goodbyes just knowing that in 8 short months we would be up there for the fall gathering to do it all over again!!

frozen raw chocolate logs

2009-03-22T09:06:00.003-04:00

i'm posting this for my mom because i gave her the recipe last week off the top of my head and i don't know if i got it right. not that the recipe has to be JUST RIGHT...it's so very tweakable...sometimes i add more bananas for sweetness, or cashew butter for smoothness. you can use differing amounts of powder depending on whether you're using carob, raw cacao, or cocoa powder and how much you like the taste.

okay, i finally made some of my famous frozen raw chocolate bars/logs after years and years of forgetting the recipe (i used to make these back when sadie was a baby...before i even knew there was such a thing as a raw food diet).

sooo good!! try it!!:

1 cup raw nut butter of choice (i use cashew butter that i make)
3 bananas, very very ripe and mashed
1/4-1/2 cup raw chocolate, carob, or cocoa powder (raw powder is stronger so use the lesser amount)
add chopped nuts if you want after mixing well.

form into logs on waxed paper and roll up to cover and freeze. the next day, slice up little bits of heaven and eat!! keep frozen!! i usually put them on a plate and put them back into the freezer for everyone to grab when they want so i don't have to keep pulling out the knife all day!! they won't last long!!

this IS NOT poop!!! and don't use a little knife like the one in the first picture, use a large knife like you're cutting big carrots!!

see there's an uncut log still wrapped up in the background...that's how you do it! =)

the super human one eyed pirate...

2009-03-13T10:35:00.009-04:00

...i swear that just sounds dirty!! thanks kelli for this fun game, the hero factory!!

i AM

the super human

one eyed pirate!!!

parenting journeys

2009-03-05T08:52:00.004-05:00

my friend, cheryl, wrote a really nice post on her blog...it felt really familiar. i commented on it and realized that my comment might make a good post since i've not been doing much at the posting helm lately. here is my comment to her post:

"isn't it amazing how quickly things can change...from peaceful to chaos in just seconds? BUT, it's also amazing how much of an impression our general attitude and demeanor have on our children in those situations. they pick up on our peaceful energy as well as the chaotic and follow suit.

and it IS super different to know something, to believe in a way of being and the actual practice part. i've been unschooling for years & years, but only in the last couple have i been able to even begin to let go of my need to control everything and really implement my beliefs in a way that my heart has been trying to make sense of and knows is the right path for us.

i have also been in that position of speaking with an onlooker who thinks we are just so wonderful as a family...and i have to let them know we actually ARE human and that not all moments are so wonderful. but that mostly, if i let them be, yes...they really are or could be. and that always goes back to me and my attitude, my false expectations or ideals vs. my faith in their inherent goodness and wonder.

it's something awesome to navigate these waters of our lives as parents. wonderful and treacherous at the same time. to learn more everyday and be our best selves. i don't know who i would be without the gift of having had children and how it has changed me in ways i never would have thought possible."

we spent the weekend with some fellow unschoolers in columbia for the 3rd time in so many months and as usual, it was a learning experience for me. i always come away with some new insight. it is why i make such an effort now to surround myself as often as possible with other unschoolers. i think that no matter how long i am on this journey i will always feel that i am just beginning. not in a "going in circles" sort of way, but in a "wow, i can do better" way. i've been going to sandra dodd's food chats the last 2 weeks and they have been really helpful. i feel that i get it, always have. but the practice part is an internal struggle that i am getting better and better at dealing with and keeping from being external (i.e. dumping my worries and hesitations and control all over my kids and husband...it's MY thing, not THEIRS!!). in yesterday's chat when i asked for some mantra to keep me from my knee-jerk reactions, sandra shared the insights of diana jenner and it went something like this: if your child died tomorrow, would any of this matter? slammed me up against a wall. and cleared up my vision real well...new glasses-like!! thank you both for that!!

i will never know what is up ahead for me and my family, all i know is that the journey part has been amazing and i can't imagine my life any other way!

happiness

2009-02-22T10:34:00.005-05:00

i haven't felt like doing much blogging although there's a lot going on right now that i could blog about and i'm sure i'll get around to eventually (maybe), but doing tags is easy for my brain at the moment so here goes another.

mindy tagged me with this sweet one: it's called "hooked on your blog" and i'm not really sure i understand the image that goes with it as there really is not a link to anything...anyway...

six things that add to my happiness and joy!! i'm going to go with what is on my mind in this moment:

1. it was warm and sunny yesterday so the kids and i went for a walk around the neighborhood.

2. early morning love-making.

3. we have a huge, and i mean really huge (think 15), group of cedar waxwings living near our house now that swoop around the bushes and trees all the time.

4. the boys are playing some wild and silly game right now called "WoW meets crazy idea that samuel had meets harry potter entrance exam and quoting youtube videos" with costumes and everything.

5. sadie figured out a cool way to use her old tights, so she just now brought me some scissors and had me cut them off for sleeve/wrist warmers...and she's really happy with them. she's now pulling ALL of her tights out to see which ones she wants to do next!

6. i'm looking out the window and it's snowing. and although i really don't like the cold, there is something simply beautiful about new-fallen snow. and it reminds me of how cozy our life is inside our house and how lucky we are to be here together everyday.

okay, now here is the fun part...tagging...who shall i tag??? is it 5 people? okay...

jessica, who never fails to surprise me and make me smile (thanks for the bag!!).

ren, who is like a big sister to me as well as a friend (you can be both apparently).

cheryl, who i really miss being best friends with and living in the same town together.

kelli, who i am just getting to know although we've met several times.

brenna, who married the man i didn't and shares the best stuff on her blog.

25 random things about me...

2009-02-15T10:56:00.003-05:00

okay so i got tagged by a couple people on facebook to do this note thingy and i finally got around to doing it and decided to put it on my blog as well.

1. love & hate minutiae: i love when it's raining and you go under a bridge and it's suddenly really quiet for just a split second before you drive back into the pouring rain...i love that quiet part. i hate when health foods/products companies use the phrase "it's a totally organic experience" in their slogans.

2. i used to live in a really rural place called hiltons, virginia...most people know that is where the carter family fold is...and that we are sort of related to the carters, by marriage not blood.

3. i had 2 nicknames in high school....la and catfight. i still go by la. catfight was because a friend said that's what my hair looked like, like a catfight happened on my head.

4. i walked many many many blocks home alone from school in the snow when i was 5 or 6. no one was home and i fell asleep on the porch. when i woke up i walked to a neighbor's house and she put me on the couch with blankets and warm tomato soup. to this day, i hate the cold. and i love tomato soup and crackers.

5. i haven't felt like dancing or doing art in months.

6. i take lots of pictures because i worry i won't remember things...and that is mostly true, i do forget a lot, always have.

7. almost all of our furniture was found or given.

8. the only thing i still use that i learned in high school is typing.

9. i like disco...and barry manilow..............shhhhh don't tell anyone!!!

10. i often feel like i don't know anything about anything.

11. i can eat a whole bag of chips by myself!! regular lay's please!

12. when i was in high school, i went on a date with a boy named tony catron. we went to a movie and afterwards he took me to watch a tractor pull...we didn't go in though, we went up on a hill above it to watch for free.

13. there was a club in johnson city when i was in college called "the highlander" and my boyfriend and i and sometimes some other friends would go there to dance and hang out and listen to bands play. it was dirty and noisy and smoky. i loved it, i miss it!!

14. i don't ever ever ever need to drink to have a good time or to be able to get out on a dance floor!

15. i've never tried any kind of drug...not even marijuana. but when i was in the 8th grade, i was the class clown and super hyper, and my boyfriend was a known druggy...everyone assumed i was too.

16. i never eat anything for breakfast but fruit.

17. i rarely think of myself as a grown up. i used to think i'd start feeling grown up when i turned 30, then when that didn't happen i started thinking maybe at 40...now that i'm getting closer to 40, i'm thinking that i will probably always feel like a kid.

18. when i was in the third grade, i was tested for a gifted program. i did not make it in; i was lacking in library skills they said. my best friend made it though, and she went on to be in a different third grade class leaving me behind. i think about that sometimes, walking out of the school building feeling so sad and like a failure and it is one of the very few memories I have from that time.

19. i have a longing to belong. the need for community. but it is also the core of one of my deepest inner conflicts. the need to belong and the need to not belong. i often feel like i can't handle the belonging. that i don't have enough of me to go around...so i'm often happiest when my "community" is very very tiny. if it tries to get bigger i tend to freak out. and then the longing comes back...it is a terrible cycle, round and round i go...wanting and not wanting, needing and not needing.

20. i cheated on 18 and 19 because i got stumped and couldn't think of anything to write so i randomly pulled up really really old blog posts...and snipped from them.

21. i'm listening to sondre lerche's song "after all" and it makes me smile. he is yummy.

22. winter makes me want to curl up in a blanket on the couch and watch movies or read and eat, eat, eat!!!

23. i keep everything!!

24. i share more of myself than i should sometimes. this makes me a very vulnerable person. i am also a pretty naive person as well.

25. i really like my life right now, even though i have the winter blahs.

26. i can't believe i finished this!! that's just an extra one for me ;0) you don't have to do 26!

the rules that came with it in case you're curious what this is about:
Rules (but I would prefer to call them "Suggestions"):Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to (IF YOU WANT TO, OF COURSE) write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
Of course, you don't HAVE to do any of this, only if you feel like it'd be fun!!!!)

blog awards

2009-02-08T10:57:00.008-05:00

i've never gotten one of these before so it took me some time to get to figuring out what to do with it and how =).

thank you danielle

These are the rules to accept the award:

1. You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also contribute to the blogging community, no matter what language.

2. Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog to be visited by everyone.

3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that presented her/him with the award.

4.The award winner and one who has given the prize have to show the link of "Arte y Pico" blog so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5. To show these rules

back when tagging was going around, i never could think of any people to tag. i actually had to narrow down this list to get my 5...and it was hard!!

jess is an amazing inspiration to me as a mother, friend and artist.

cheryl never fails to impress me with her outstanding knowledge and creativity.

mindy is a brilliant dancer and an unshakable, grounded human being.

robyn makes the most beautiful dolls ever.

ginger whose henna creations are astounding...and she knits yummy socks too!!